An out-of-this world tale


In a parallel world, the president was in a huddle with his trusted police chief and the head of the Special Action Force on how to nab two wanted terrorists. He approved the plan with much enthusiasm.

President: It’s a go for January 25 but don’t call Mar One.

SAF chief: Sure, sir, Marwan is the terrorist we want to arrest.

President: What? Mar One is a terrorist? But he’s the head of the DILG and he wants to succeed me as president!

SAF chief: You’re referring to Mar Roxas, sir. He’s not our target. Our target is Marwan, M-A-R-W-A-N, a Malaysian expert in making bombs.

President: I’m referring to Mar One, that’s the radio code name of Mar Roxas. Don’t call him. He might get some ideas and claim the honor that should be mine.

SAF chief: Okay sir! (Saluting)

In the early morning of January 25, the president received a call from the SAF chief.

SAF chief: Sir, we got Marwan. We cut his hair and severed a finger to make sure he’s the one we had killed.

President: Congratulations! How about the other wanted person?

SAF chief: Sir, Basit has escaped!

President: What? Bassit has escaped? Isn’t she detained at the Veterans Memorial Hospital?

SAF chief: Sir, are you referring to the former president?

President. Who else is called “Bassit?” That’s Ilocano for “little,” and that’s one of the names given her. You should know because you’re an Ilocano from Luna, La Union.

SAF chief: Sir, that “Bassit” is still at the Veterans. The “Basit” we’re after who has escaped is a man and is an expert bomb maker like Marwan.

President: That’s okay then. I thought the “Bassit” at the Veterans was the one who had escaped.

After a while, the President got a frantic call from the SAF chief.

SAF chief: Sir, the enemies are coming and they might overrun our position. Please send reinforcements.

President: Okay, I’ll tell the other commands to help you.

Three hours passed. The President got another distress call.

SAF chief: Sir, three hours have passed but there’s no reinforcement yet. Our enemies are well-armed and they’re in attack position.

President: Why are you rushing me? If you text your friends that you’re going to meet at MOA, is it very easy to get there? You wait and don’t call me again as I’m very busy. (Resumes playing video games.)

SAF chief: Sir, if the enemies will overwhelm us, your days as president will be over! Our enemies are demanding your resignation.

President: (Showing concern) Is that so? What are your coordinates?

SAF chief: Sir, we are inside the EDSA Shrine.

President: And where are our enemies?

SAF chief: Sir, they’re already near Camp Crame and within five minutes, they’ll take over the EDSA Shrine and try to create another People Power movement.

President: Why didn’t you say so immediately? This calls for super-fast reaction.

So, in less than three minutes, hundreds of police and military men reinforced the SAF at the EDSA Shrine. The reinforcement was so fast that they arrived at the target area ahead of the opponents of the President armed with placards.

Unfortunately for the President, the move for his ouster grew even stronger as the days went on. It had come to a point that the SAF and their reinforcements even joined the call for his resignation. Another bad news came — a mob had ransacked his estate of many valuables. He became more despondent when he learned that among the items stolen were his highly valued equipment and discs for video games.

Faced with this growing opposition to his regime, he decided to resign. His belief that his opponents were merely after his resignation was shattered when he was hauled to Camp Crame to face numerous charges of crimes against the people he had sworn to serve. He was even finger-printed like a common criminal.

The President complained to his successor about the ransacking of his estate and the theft of his video games equipment. He said he wanted justice for what had befallen him.

New president: What do you want me to do – finger-print everybody who entered your estate? There are thousands of them!

Then, the deposed president saw the son of a former president who was ousted by a previous people power. He sought the help and sympathy of the visitor.

Ex-president’s son: I can fully understand your bitterness. My father was also a victim of people power so we are now even.


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  1. out-of-this-world? maybe… but in light of the “abnormality” of the country’s present predicament, this could altogether become a feasibility!

  2. Jose A. Oliveros on

    Not really an out-of-this world tale because of the probability that the scenario in this column can happen – and soon.

  3. I prefer the ‘scenario’ in the parallel world. It reflects more of the character of the subject leader. Besides, it is more humane since nobody dies as against the 44 SAF members. Finally, the ex-President’s son should have appeased the former president by telling him: “Buhay ka pa naman, di ba?” Hilarious!