One of your most important and enjoyable jobs as a parent is to build confidence in your children. Facing the world as a child can be frightening at times. As children grow into adulthood the challenges thrown across their paths will be even tougher as time goes on.
As a child’s “coach” parents have an awesome responsibility. Every word and action parents invest in stays there in one form or another for a lifetime. So invest wisely.
Here are a few ideas to help you build confidence in your children:
Be confident in your own role as leader. God has honored you with your role as your children’s leader. He must know that you can, with His help, handle the job. So consider yourself a partner with God to build responsible, confident adults.
Pray for your children daily. Bedtime is a good time to pray out loud with children. Hearing you asking God to protect and guide them will help them understand that their confidence is ultimately in Him. These reassuring words will be the last ones they hear before they drift off to sleep.
Help your children understand why God can be trusted. From time to time point out the many things God has provided for your family. So you can reassure your children of the truth of God’s Word.
Be lavish with your praise. You can hardly overdo sincere praise as long as it’s genuine. Here are a few good phrases to be used often: You’re special. You did a great job. I really appreciate that. Wow! Thank you for saying that. I like the way you did that. You’re important to me. You brighten my day. I love you so much.
Never belittle any child, especially not in front of others. This doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t offer constructive criticism when it’s appropriate. But criticize the behavior privately while building up the child’s sense of personal worth.
Demonstrate love and unity between you and your spouse verbally and physically. When children see their parents hugging or kissing it sends a message that the family is secure.
Give lots of hugs and kisses. It’s not good enough to simply express your love verbally. Loving touches go a long way in building confidence.
Do not compare siblings. Each child is unique. Comparing traits, talents, or behavior to those of brothers or sisters will only increase unhealthy sibling rivalry and erode the individual child’s sense of uniqueness.
Write them notes. Tuck “confidence notes” into your children’s lunch boxes, on their pillows at night, or other “surprise” places.
No “buts” allowed. When you compliment your children do not follow it up with “but” anything. “You’re a terrific student, but you really need to work on your appearance.” There is a time to criticize. But adding a criticism to the end of a compliment nearly erases the compliment from your child’s heart. Save your criticisms for another time. It’s been said that one criticism carries the emotional weight of ten compliments.
Let each child know that he or she is a special creation of God. Remind your children often how unique they are, how much He loves them and how much you love them. Being confident of this truth will help your children become more confident in every area of life.
About the author: Akanksha Arora is a featured writer of ArticlesGratuits.com. She is a freelance content writer who has been in the field of parenting and education for some time. She has contributed content for books, magazines, and websites around the world, as well as authored course curriculums. To reach her, email via email@example.com.