• ‘Duterte, please appoint me’

    Mocha Uson (center) of the all-female group Mocha Girls has staunchly supported President Duterte since his electoral campaign

    Mocha Uson (center) of the all-female group Mocha Girls has staunchly supported President Duterte since his electoral campaign

    Netizens feast on Mocha Uson’s mistaken BOC appointment

    While Bureau of Customs (BoC) Commissioner Nicanor Faeldon clarified on Thursday he did not appoint singer-dancer and staunch Duterte advocate Mocha Uson as social media consultant of their bureau, netizens were unable to stop themselves from poking fun at the misreport of a top TV network at the expense of the now controversial personality.

    Early that morning, a news program reported that Uson had been tapped to help the bureau reach a wider audience in their fight against corruption. Uson maintains an active Facebook page—with nearly four million followers—and a blog, which, since the beginning of the Duterte government, has carried her exclusive interviews with top government officials, including President Duterte himself.

    Faeldon said he hoped to utilize Uson’s influence in social media but will not go as far as offering her financial compensation nor an official appointment.

    Despite the clarification, Twitter was abuzz with “Duterte, please appoint me” posts mocking Uson’s supposed anointment to government, following Mr. Duterte’s bold move to seat such celebrity supporters as Arnel Ignacio, Jimmy Bondoc, and Kat de Castro in various public offices.

    “Cheers to my friends studying Digital Mktg for years & passed Civil Service Exam. Mocha Uson needed just one election to get a Govt seat,” tweeted one Twitter user@rodmagaru.

    “I remember forums with state universities and technical schools, kids 18-24 studying hard, asking incisive and socially aware questions: ‘What’s your stand on same sex marriage? FOI? Poverty? Education? How can 4Ps be expanded?’ Young people with real problems, real questions. But if you’re Mocha Uson, if you perpetrate misinformation and mislead people, you get a government post,” user @leiron said in a series of posts.

    The tweets poured in all the more after BoC’s Twitter account tweeted Faeldon’s clarification an hour after his statement. Netizens had a field day joking about Uson’s short appointment.

    “Mocha Uson Social Media Consultant of Bureau of Custom. (8/4/16) 9:21 AM – 10: 40 AM) Thank you for serving us,” posted user @Cinephilliacy, which garnered over a thousand retweets.

    A plea for position
    The Twitter “party,” however, may have really started when some clever netizen thought up the #DutertePleaseAppointMe hashtag. This is where the posts really got funnier by the viral minute with Twitter users offering their “qualifications” to President Duterte.

    “I’ve got a mistress overseas so maybe I can work at the Department of Foreign Affairs #DutertePleaseAppointMe,” @nicoridesbikes tweeted.

    “Laging short ang sweldo ko pero buhay pa naman ako. Baka po pwede nako sa [I’m always short of money from my salary but I’m still alive and kicking. Maybe I could work at the] Department of Budget. #DutertePleaseAppointMe,” said user @ariespaltz.

    “Malakas po ang appeal ko sa mga tao. Pwede po ako sa [I have such strong personal appeal that I may be fit for the] Court of Appeal,” jested @teddycky06 on Twitter.

    Some users, on the other hand, took to suggestions on who should be appointed to various public departments.

    “For Science and Technology: Nanette Inventor #DutertePleaseAppointMe,” tweeted the parody account @HecklerForever who made fun of the veteran singer-comedienne.

    “I nominate Dora the Explorer for the Department of Tourism. ‘Come on. Vamonos. Everybody let’s go,’” suggested @imgeorgeaquino, pertaining to the popular children’s program character.

    Even celebrities who have active Twitter accounts could not help but join the fun.

    News anchor Karen Davila and TV host Bianca Gonzales both shared their favorite tweets.

    “Masama ang ugali ko. Pwede ba ako sa [I’m such a baddie. Can I work in] BI?” user @TheChiefJester tweeted, which appeared on Davila’s account.

    Gonzales, who is enjoying motherhood for the first time, sympathized with a Twitter user who posted, “Kapapanganak ko lang at naghahanap ng trabaho; pwede ako sa [I have just given birth and am seeking employment; I’m perfect for the] Department of Labor and Employment!

    Finally, OPM icon Gary Valenciano gave in to countless netizens’ suggestion for him to be appointed to the Department of Energy.

    “Need someone to head the DOE? #DutertePleaseAppointMe,” Valenciano tweeted using his verified Twitter account.

    He then added in jest, “One change I would do is call it Department Of PURE Energy but that means it would be DOPE. Aaaay wag na lang kaya.”



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