Elegy for the Living


“Whatever you say won’t deter me from my plans. I want to die. Let me be.”

Received September 2, 2014 10:44PM
These were her words.

“Everything is useless. It is for the best to rest and not struggle to live. I will no longer entertain a reply.”

Received September 29, 2014 7:43PM

Four years ago. It was a November. The last night I kissed her and held her in my arms.

Her thin pale lips— light and transient. The passing and now a lasting image:
Me, waving my hands as if to say “Get inside. Good bye.”

Her, without turning back, clumsily swaying her hands as if dancing as she walked to the door.
Heart in cold fire, breaking my spine

Four years later: Me, contemplating her great thighs, small hips, her warm fingers
Now cold, naked and dead;

This is how we try to remember at nights like this one:
“I love you.”

Both have spoken at one point of time at face of one another.

And I could say the same thing again without my tongue rattling up and down my intestines down to my anus

I loved you. But we can calmly say it no longer matters.
We live with the pain every day and there’s no way to hide;

Love is a dog from hell one writer said and I will have to agree as we are all gripped with horror.

If someone will come to me and say “Open up your heart”

I will say “Will you be brave enough to touch a rotting heart infected with rabies?”
Unspoken and unsent January 17, 2015 10:41PM


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