The Emperor who listens to his conscience


Emperor KIA, a special child who came to be called a man of destiny by force of circumstance, is perceived by his subjects to be clean-living and is admired for reputedly following his conscience.

Clean living? Well, he takes a bath for almost an hour as soon as he wakes up at 9 a.m. (He’s a late-riser because of the long hours he spends playing computer games although his mouthpieces attribute this to the heavy demands of governing the kingdom.) His yearning for cleanliness extends beyond his own body. He is so dead-set on imposing his standard of cleanliness all over the kingdom that he wants all agencies in the kingdom to be free of impure things, both living and non-living.

It so happened that most of the living things cleansed were officials who were never impressed by his governance. This selective purging created rumblings of discontent among those who wanted a full-scale purging.

“It’s mere coincidence that those purged are against me. My conscience tells me that my kingdom should be free of impurities and since they are impure, then they must go. If I can find impure ones among my friends and relatives, they must also go,” Emperor KIA said.

When somebody told him that they had seen a lot of impurities in the Lord Keeper of the Secret Treasury, the Royal Adviser on Guns and Pirated Discs, the Royal Distributor of Foot and Mouth Disease (FMD) and a number of his favorite stooges, he immediately defended them and dared all critics to come out with evidence.

“I can’t find any impurity among my friends and relatives,” he declared, while his friends and relatives who were feasting on pork cheered.

A growing number of his subjects are becoming doubtful of his drive for cleanliness. They pointed out that he’s the main source of a new strain of swine flu virus called P1Noy3. This virus gives its carriers an insatiable hunger for pork. Since Emperor KIA has a monopoly in the supply of pork, the kingdom’s political leaders, even the warlords, meekly submitted to his rule and even sang paeans for him whether he’s right or wrong.

“My conscience is clear on the distribution of pork,” he said.

He also found impurities in the handiworks of his predecessor and ordered that they be stopped. He told his subjects that he saved a lot of money with this stoppage. He then used the savings to start his own projects. He shrugged off complaints that his projects were also impure.

“I undertook them in good faith and I merely obeyed my conscience,” he intoned.

The Emperor’s followers are mostly blind but they could hear his voice and they agree with him, especially on his claim that he is guided mainly by his conscience. His conscience tells him that he’s always right—and he considers his conscience a sacred thing to be followed.

Like many moralists, Emperor KIA believes that conscience is the voice of God inside man. It’s no wonder that he often invokes the name of God in all his public pronouncements. He believes that God is always with him, even when many spiritual leaders are already questioning his ethics and governance.

Like many emperors before him, and with the growing support of P1Noy3 carriers, he came to believe that the Supreme Being is always with him. He began to believe that he owes his reign not to the people but to God. He considers himself answerable only to God and never to his subjects. As long as he obeys his conscience, he is palsy-walsy with the One High Above. Some believe he is now a screwball, and that he is a living proof of the truism that “Whom the gods wish to destroy, they first make mad.”

Once, however, he told a confidante that his conscience was starting to trouble him. He said that his critics seemed to be right in pointing out his reign is causing greater hardships to his subjects and he was wrong in attributing ill-motives to them.

“My conscience is telling me that I must now abdicate my throne before the condition of my subjects worsens,” he intimated.

Imagine the surprise of the confidante when Emperor KIA said a few days later that he intended to continue his reign for several more years.

“I thought you said your conscience is telling you to quit? Why aren’t you obeying it?” the confidante asked.

“Oh, that was my previous conscience. The voice of my current conscience tells me I must continue with my rule because I’ve been bringing the kingdom to greater heights of glory. This is the conscience that I’m obeying,” Emperor KIA said in a prayerful tone.


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  1. Unwelcome return of the deranged Efren Danao. Please be informed that your persistent insinuations could hardly pass. “KIA” is a Korean word which is labeled to the manufactured Korean Car, and to insinuate you used KIA to some pretentious Noy short for annoying. Emperor KIA I could say belongs to me that’s Roslee B. Mendoza Formoso with a Flower Crest. Henceforth, Efren Danao’s return of the insane is intolerable. Consult with the Korean Government

    Efren Danao’s used of the word ‘Supreme Being” means Mejicano, the U.S. Army is avoiding the used of Sup, it’s a U.S. Army Restrictions. How Efren Danao continue to write insanity and be published in one of the country’s illustrous newspaper

  2. Tony Blair thought he was answeable only to God, and what a mess he made of his final term. An allegedly socialist PM privatising public services and going to the disastrous war in Iraq!