The beautiful unmarried sister of the Emperor was very depressed. Public outcry against the rule of her beloved only brother was growing at a time when his health was deteriorating.
She had tried to keep her dejection to herself but failed to check her emotions when the Emperor delivered his State of the Empire address before a joint session of buffoons.
“The cigarette is worth living for,” he said solemnly in between coughs.
Then, turning emotional, he added: “The cigarette is worth dying for.”
It was at this point that she started to wail, as if she had lost again a new lover.
She knew of her brother the Emperor’s precarious health. His worsening condition is known only to most intimate relatives and friends. It has been kept away from the prying noses of the public, the Emperor’s supposed “amo” who they believe has no right to know or be informed.
The people didn’t know of his severe coughing spell when he went to the South supposedly to boost the morale of his warriors fighting rebels. He hid himself from the public eye for many days until his departure for the Palace where he appeared pale and gaunt. He also made himself scarce for days before he visited another empire, for the same reason. In both cases, his mouthpieces cited national security for keeping mum on his whereabouts.
Many had warned the Emperor on the dire effects on one’s health of smoking but he ignored them. This made the sister admire him even more. She said that their late parents had reared them to hold on to what they believe to be true, and he believes that smoking is beneficial, that only commoners could get sick from smoking, not those with yellow blood like him.
“He really is a man of conviction!” the sister said.
She pointed out that even when majority of his subjects want the empire’s leaders to abstain on eating pork the entire year, he continued to shower his men with pork.
“That’s the mark of a true leader. He doesn’t hesitate to make a decision and to hold on to it even in the face of spirited opposition,” she said.
She laments, however, that despite his sacrifices for the empire, to the extent of smoking himself to ill-health, more of his subjects are becoming restive.
Her lament became even more vehement at his State of the Empire Address when she saw his critics parading themselves for all to see their peach-colored clothes. This color is much hated by all with yellow blood because it signifies opposition to the Emperor.
A media man said that she shouldn’t be so dejected because only about two dozens of almost 300 buffoons used that color.
“The Emperor enjoys almost unanimous support of the buffoons. They were applauding even his lies,” the media man noted.
She said this didn’t satisfy her because not one of the buffoons wore yellow, the official color of the royalty.
She vowed to go all-out asking people to support her brother and to broadcast all of his achievements in good governance. She expressed confidence that all media outfits friendly to the Empire will give her campaign full coverage.
“I have more right to talk than them because I pay more taxes. Those who pay less tax should talk less. No tax, no talk,” she said.
Actually, nobody can stop her from talking even if she’ll be paying less tax. In her talk show, she out-talks her guests who are forced to listen to her talk about herself. No wonder, she’s called “Queen of Talk.”
She said she would ask all people to wear yellow to show to her ailing brother that they are all for him, that he remains very popular despite claims of the noisy minority. She echoed the Emperor’s diatribe that all those wearing peach and railing at his reign are enemies of the empire and, therefore, against progress.
About two weeks after her campaign for yellow color, she saw that only a few were heeding her call.
Asked about this lukewarm reaction of the public, she shrugged her shoulders: “I’m only joking.”
Then, a loyal follower came running, telling her that more than a million people, all wearing yellow shirts, will meet the next day to demonstrate their support for the Emperor. The follower said they want her to give a long talk at the demonstration.
“Tomorrow? Not tomorrow. Tomorrow is the Empire’s Orgasm Day and I want to make up for the days that I was celibate,” she said.