False facts and true lies

3

ROLLY G. REYES

You will never think that your action is out of bounds if your eyes are glued sideways.

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Alvarez and Floirendo, you pushed Lolo Digong to run and then drag him down like this? Shame.

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Lent is Holy Week. It is also a past participle that you owe something from a bank.

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April Fool’s Day headline we wanted to see:
PH airports top Skytrax’s World Best Airport awards
PNP: No one was killed today in PH
Amnesty International HRW: 100,000 killed today in PH
EDSA traffic smooth (Caloocan to Makati in 10 minutes)
Duterte sends flowers to De Lima
PAL, CebuPac arrive, depart on time
PRRD gives Inquirer, ABS-CBN ‘The Most Balanced News Reporting Awards’
Manny Pacquiao, Floyd Mayweather fight confirmed in 2025
Miley Cyrus to hold concert fully clothed
De Lima to star in new movie sequel “TAKEN 5”
Alvarez, Floirendo to play as themselves in a new sequel to the horror movie “Child’s Play”
FBI: Trump wiretapped Obama’s phone
Archbishop Socrates Villegas eyes presidency in 2022
Trillanes appointed new ambassador to Panatag Shoal
AMLAC to investigate Duterte’s piggy bank at home
De Lima’s new favorite song: ‘I Beg Your Pardon’
AFP agrees to lay down arms ahead of CPP/NDF/NPA
Pagasa predicts snowstorms in April
Ateneo, La Salle to offer free tuition
PCSO to replace lotto with jueteng
Commission on appointments to construct hospital for bypass operations

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“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
– Buddha

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The rumor is not true that President Digong wanted the Department of Finance to include two giant media outlets under the “manufacturing” category in the business sector.

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The most difficult enemy is the one who is on your side. Translation: “Ang pinakamahirap na kalaban ay kakampi.”

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Thursday Rant:
Way of transacting business in the PH: In any outlet, the sale of any product or item always poses a problem for buyers as salespersons are primed to disappoint a client’s wish to consummate a deal. They focus more on the problems in the purchase of a product rather than consider a business opportunity for the store. And they wonder why their store will close shop and rant about losing their jobs. Another bad trait is when they ignore you as if updating their records is a matter of life and death while you patiently wait for their attention.

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“Much like a golf swing – life is getting control of yourself and letting it go at the same time.”
– Roy Macavoy, “Tin Cup”

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You have reached the age of maturity when you start making a list of your favorite mistakes and shameful triumphs.

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Globe and Smart telecoms – greed riding in tandem.

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Travel photography?

I’m a devil shooter when I am traveling. I shoot fast like an Ingram machine pistol as travel doesn’t give you much time for meticulous preparation.

Gear: I bring a light camera. It should not hinder your mobility and not compete with your luggage dimension. Remember that you will be in and out of airports, cabs and restaurants and a heavy gear will make you want to reach for a gatorade or an oxygen tank.

Bag: protective enough for bumps and a careless moron beside you. Just the right size for your camera, extra batteries and an extra memory card just in case you’ll be shooting raw. Leave that charger in your hotel. You won’t be charging on location.

No flash kit or I’ll kill you. You’re not a wedding photographer.

Lens: I prefer wide ranged zooms with 24-600mm with macro – a range that will cover anything of interest from a toothpick to the horizon to far away birds perched on a tower. Don’t kid yourself. You don’t have the luxury of changing lenses or you will hear a mouthful from your tour guide for always getting lost behind. Keep that UV filter glued wherever you go to protect your lens.

Mindset: Remember, it’s about your camera telling a story without a script. Shoot street signs, street maps, facades, doors, low light alleys and corners, faces, stores, vehicles and any other objects that will complete your account of the place. I’m a street freak so don’t be like me. Shoot whatever pleases you and not to please anyone or your mother-in-law.

Selfies? Naah. Of course they know that you were there as the photographer who took those pictures but you have the right to look stupid with that selfie stick.

A chamois cloth or ordinary lint-free cloth should be carried at all times to remove unwanted dirt on your camera. A handkerchief may be needed to dry up your tears just in case you lose your gear.

Save the photos right away in your tablets or laptops. You’ll never know when a waiter will accidentally pour beer on your camera. Extra money won’t hurt if that will happen as you will need to pay for slapping that waiter as you get arrested by a police officer for slight physical injuries.

If you want to travel again and cannot afford it anymore, sell your camera and just sit back and enjoy the sights – with a sigh. (Your wife will be just as happy that you discarded a fierce competitor for attention.)

Enjoy!

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April Fools’ Day message to vinyl enthusiasts: “CD is Better.”

Good work, good deeds and good faith to all.

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3 Comments

  1. Your wit is neat. Like a home plant decor. For aesthetics. And for health as well – invites positive energy, supplies ample oxygen, devours carbon dioxide. God showers you endless of it.