• Getting rich with praise mail and poison letters

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    Reylito A.H. Elbo

    Reylito A.H. Elbo

    THE election fever has gone to the dogs with everyone literally killing each other by bruising, if not ending their friendship on social media with their toxic pens and dirty fingers. And so, how do you make it out of this dreadful situation? As Boo Chanco says — it’s your chance to choose your preferred breed.

    In other words, grin and bear it.

    After all, the frenzy will not last long. Sooner than you can imagine, we may be in a situation when the freedom of expression and all these political rights we’re over-abusing under a democratic space will soon be replaced with an iron fist. So, you only have to relax a bit more to save the remaining friends you have on Facebook and elsewhere at least before the first week of July, when literal and figurative silencers can hit us.

    Still if you can’t control flashing your dirty finger, your other option is www.WhoToHate.com – an online solution that helps you send hate mail to your friend-turn-enemy, without him or her knowing your identity.

    WTH promises to help you “annoy your enemy” under a cloak of anonymity. Hit your friends for being naïve or stupid for being a die-hard supporter of another equally stupid presidentiable. In the workplace, instead of writing hate graffiti inside an office toilet or dumping poison letters in the company suggestion box, you can express your disgust against the management style of your venom-mouthed boss using the facilities of whotohate.com.

    You can choose from any three packages offered by WTH to get even with your BFF (best-foe-forever) for being an imprudent supporter of a murderer, a thief, a foreigner, and a landed rich kid with his unhurried record of public service, not necessarily in that order.

    Just like Steve Levitt, however I’m not endorsing WTH to anyone. I even doubt if such approach is legal. Maybe it’s legal, as long as you don’t publicize your hate. Or maybe, you’re better off sending the message of your middle finger via snail mail, if not by LBC, if you want it delivered in one day.

    But the question is — why do you remain wallowing in deep down resentment to support a presidential candidate? If a person doesn’t share your view, let him be. If you’ve a different opinion, share it without using coarse language. After all, why bother when your ideal candidate doesn’t even know you personally?

    Buddha said: “You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger.” Sooner than you can imagine your anger will turn into some toxic body chemicals, and will soon engulf your system with an incurable illness. This alone, is one good reason why you should stop spreading hatred.

    And that’s for your own mental goodness.

    My view is that, rather than wallowing with anger, you should celebrate with joy by counting all your blessings in the form of friends, even if they have no money to lend you or even if they can’t recommend you to a lucrative job, in government or elsewhere.

    Therefore, instead of whotohate.com, why not put up a website that gives free but sincere compliment to your long lost friend, including those whom you’ve not seen since your kindergarten days.

    That’s assuming you can still recognize them with their toupee, false teeth, and natural corduroy look.

    Let’s call this website, sincerepraise.com. Charge nothing for those who will send a written commendation to a person who did a good job but you don’t want your message to sound insincere and fake. If you want to remain anonymous, you can simply tick a box.

    If you’re a secret admirer of someone, either professionally or romantically, use sincerepraise.com to profess your appreciation to an excellent work or love to a prospective lifetime partner, respectively. Offer a template that people can use to suit their style and taste. Just the same, let patrons remain honest by offering advice on how to write award-winning praise messages or love notes.

    To maintain the website, be open to accept donations without strings attached.

    If you don’t want to give me any credit for this business idea, you’re free to name your website to something else, like honestpraise.com, trueworth.com, or something else, as long as it will not use the word “love” or anything like it so that it will not be mistaken as a cover for a porn website.

    Rey Elbo is a business consultant on human resources and total quality management as a fused interest. You can reach him via elbonomics@gmail.com or by following his random thoughts on Facebook, LinkedIn, or Twitter.

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