Gays shouldn’t just yet celebrate that homosexuality is ok now for Papa Francis, based on his much-publicized comments in a recent press conference in the heavens—on board the airline Alitalia at 30,000 feet, that is—on the way home from Brazil last week.

The papal quotes that sent gays to paroxysms of ecstasy and dogmatic Catholics to a convulsion of disbelief, translated from the Italian:

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