I’ve come to praise President Benigno Simeon (BS) Aquino 3rd, not to bury him.
Many may raise a howl of protest over this paraphrasing of Marc Anthony’s eulogy of Julius Caesar but, hey, who wants BS Aquino 3rd to be buried right away? My change of heart came after reading the Manila Times report of his complaint that his “irresponsible” detractors, especially in media, “elevate blood pressure.”
Now, it would bother my conscience should my being among his “irresponsible” detractors cause the further elevation of his blood pressure, which could also result in his untimely death. I note that the President, called by his adoring fans the “Man of Steel,” has had coughing fits for smoking, I mean, for working too much (8am to 5pm except on holidays). With his coughing fits and possible elevated blood pressure, he could be entering Kingdom Come. I shudder to think of such a possibility for this means BS Aquino The Third will be BS Aquino The Last. He’ll turn 54 on Feb. 8 but is still a bachelor and without a son, unlike DILG Sec. Mar Roxas who has acknowledged paternity of a son born out of wedlock.
Should BS Aquino 3rd die without siring a child, then that means the end of the illustrious family line of former Sen. Benigno Aquino Jr. and former President Cory Aquino. (Oh my! I forgot that his sister Kris has a son by an actor who carries the Aquino name.) Worse, his death would mean the Philippines would no longer enjoy the distinction of having the only president in the whole world who is a true BS. Uh uh, why am I devoting so much time to his death when I said I came to praise him, not to bury him? I apologize to Malacañang if I’m raising blood pressures again.
The President deserves praise for getting an incredibly high 70-percent satisfaction rating in responding to the thousands of victims of Typhoon Yolanda. Now, this survey undertaken by the Social Weather Stations, owned mostly by the president’s relatives, should warm his heart. That’s the kind of report, dutifully given extra prominence by the conscripted media, that he truly enjoys reading.
Please, please, don’t bring up the fact that about 12,000 typhoon victims in Leyte and Samar provinces are up in arms over the slow and inadequate response from the Philippine government in contrast to that from foreign governments and private organizations. Pointing this out would only elevate the blood pressure of BS Aquino The Last, I mean, The Third.
Those protesting victims are irresponsible for criticizing the president when the SWS survey had already determined that they were satisfied with what he had done. His irresponsible critics shouldn’t also point to the fact that hundreds of dead are still unburied almost three months after the catastrophe. They should see the problem from the commendable perspective of the President who is more concerned with the living than the dead. So, who cares for the unburied as long as the living are attended to? The President should also be commended for his comforting and caring words for the living who complain that they haven’t been attended to by the government: “Buhay pa kayo, di ba?”
The President also deserves praises for thinking of holding a prayer for national unity. Now, now, please don’t bring up the fact that this by-invitation-only event excluded his hopeless critics and irresponsible detractors. How can there be national unity when he calls only on those who agree with him? Again, why should one question what was done when the intention, a call for national unity, is already praiseworthy?
Please, please, don’t imperil the President’s health by such irresponsible observations. Such criticisms pose hazards to his health much more than his incessant and incurable smoking does.
Our President is a man of action as shown by his declaration that his administration would “hit the ground running” on its last 32 months. Please don’t ask why he didn’t do so on his very first day in office. That’s irresponsible criticism and that would make you a hopeless critic.
Instead, commend him for thinking of faster action in his “last two minutes.” It’s the thought that matters.
BS Aquino The Last, I mean The Third, should be commended for his closeness to the Supreme Being. He’s so religious that he could even wish God’s blessings on his hopeless critics—“Bahala na ang Diyos sa inyo.”
Let’s all hail the President for being one above criticism. We should all focus our criticisms on those who are against him but never at him. We should give him nothing but praises—unless we want to bury him after all.