It’s been five long years since I last wrote this column—five years of perhaps what I could call a temporary reprieve, a hiatus of some sort, or maybe a time to put my day job on top of my to-do list.

In truth though, it was probably a writer’s block (notwithstanding that I wouldn’t even call myself one). Nonetheless, throughout those five years, there was always a sense that I missed writing—compelling myself to think with my hands on the keyboard. Some people might find that a bit odd, even geeky maybe. But for me, only writing could bring those unexpected moments of introspection—of times when I actually find myself observing people, of being open to things, of remembering details, or of seeing my surroundings with eagle eyes.

Hence, over the holidays, it was such a blessing to have rekindled old friendships with The Manila Times’ lifestyle editor, Tessa Mauricio-Arriola, and our president and CEO Dante “Klink” Ang 2nd, and to have been invited back into the paper’s pages again.

Quite apt too, that I begin this New Year writing, the perfect opportunity to look back and contemplate on what has been. It was interesting how the holidays meant so many different things for all of us—for my family and friends.

For my friend Mags, last Christmas saw one despedida after another—as she began a new career in the US. For Cathy, it was the perfect time to come home from Phnom Penh and to touch base with old friends. But for my friend Annie, last Christmas was a bittersweet one, as her father passed away right after the celebrations. Then, for my friends Chichi and Pinky, it was the capstone to a year of hard work, a time to re-plan career directions.

For our family, the holidays offered a much-needed time to spend together with work pushed to the back burner. And for me, it was the perfect time to organize my photos into albums, one that left me astounded at how my children, Santi and Tricia, have grown from children into their teens.

It’s remarkable that the holiday season passes as fleetingly like poinsettia leaves fading back from red to green. But, so do days and years. And that is exactly what each New Year reminds me of—how a year older we all will be, of how the years fade from vivid moments to passing memories.

During the New Year’s eve celebrations, as fireworks lit the skies, I realized that the New Year does bring forth a myriad of emotions—ironically always either of two conflicting emotions.

Whether the New Year brings you either a sense of trepidation or optimism, of peace or unsettledness, or of gratitude or regret, this is the time to take stock, to look back, and to start all over again. Despite how clichéd that sounds, all of us know exactly how it feels.

No matter how amazing or disappointing the past year was to you, the uncertainty of a year ahead is both a blessing and a biting reality. It is ironically the same way we feel about a new career, a new business venture, a new relationship, or like the way we feel on the first day of school or of having a first baby—moments all met with conflicting emotions. For everyone, I sincerely hope that the New Year fulfills your aspirations and begets you blessings and more.

Then again, this is what writing this column means to me on this New Year—a chance for starting over. Hopefully though, the past five years have made me a bit wiser and a little less full of myself to make for an interesting read.

Happy New Year!

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The author wears many hats. She is an academician by profession, an Educational Psychologist by circum-stance, an aspiring writer by choice, but more importantly, a wife and mother by calling.