By Bob Garon

First of three parts

I have written countless articles about unfulfilled expectations being the root of all unhappiness. Here comes another one because it is so difficult for people to accept reality.
Let’s face it. We desperately want things to go our way. The more important the matter is, the more desperate we become.

Take love, for example. When people fall in love, they have some very great expectations. They expect their lives to become a lot happier. Not just happier, but very much happier—happier than ever before. A slight increase in happiness definitely will not do. Look carefully at what they expect and you will find people having expectations that often defy realty.

The woman who marries an alcoholic who uses drugs and is an unemployed irresponsible womanizer believes she can reform him. She is firmly convinced that their love will overcome all obstacles that stand in the way of her finding happiness such as she has never before experienced. This woman is clearly challenging reality and defying it. She may not understand that she will need a first class miracle if her expectations are to be fulfilled, and the chances of that happening are exceedingly slim. Still, she moves ahead fully expecting that exactly what is going to happen. When it doesn’t she is absolutely devastated, confused and angry.

Every unhappy moment in your life will have some kind of unfulfilled expectation component that can be found. I challenge you to find even one unhappy moment where there is no unfulfilled expectation. You won’t.

This is why we need to keep our expectations realistic if we wish to avoid unhappiness. This means that we need to build our expectations with a firm grip on reality. Remember that reality doesn’t care about you and your feelings. Ignore it and it will slap you in the face.

The woman above who enters into a relationship with such a high-risk guy is, barring that first class miracle, courting disaster. She will surely get smacked in the heart by some unpleasant realities. She will watch as her expectations of a happy life come crashing down.

If we are not careful with our expectations, we set ourselves up for pain. And the more we miss the mark and fail to keep our expectations in line with reality, the greater will be our unhappiness.
To be continued

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