As one song goes, some guys have all the luck. Or do they?

I nearly jumped up and down like a crazy chimpanzee earlier this week after receiving a text message from a person who identified himself as Atty. Felipe Gozon. I was informed that I had just won a raffle, one that I do not recall joining.

Of course I know who Atty. Gozon is. He’s the head honcho of GMA-7. I’ve never met the gent so the message caught me by surprise.

There’s more. According to the message send from cell phone number 0916-9715301, I had just won the princely sum of P780,000 after being picked as the 2nd price (sic) winner of the GMA.Kapuso Foundation Draw.

It gets even better. The prize money supposedly came from a certain congressman by the name of Manny Pacquiao. Yup, the billionaire congressman had donated the funds, and lucky me would receive a fraction of a fraction of what he earns each time he enters the ring.

Wow, I told myself. This must be my lucky year. In the Chinese calendar, this is the year of the Water Snake, and since I am a Scorpio, this has to be a good omen. The best, actually.

I was thinking of what to do with the prize or price money. Heck, I didn’t care if it was fries money. As long as it’s in Philippine currency, I’m happy.

The text message said that my winning was covered by DTI-NCR #3657 Series of 2013. How much more legit can it get, I had to know. All I needed to do was to call up Atty. Felipe Gozon, and I could claim my windfall. I could finally take my twice-postponed trip to Macau, maybe even go to the casino seen in the latest 007 movie Skyfall.

Those who’ve seen the Bond film will recall that the casino I refer to supposedly has either a komodo dragon or a giant iguana as house pet. I need to know if this is for real. In one of the Vegas casinos I visited a few years ago, I saw lions in a glass cage, so there’s really no stopping any casino owner from displaying dangerous animals to draw crowds.

Maybe a local casino can do them one better by having a school of piranha as their come on. If memory serves, a minor bold star a decade or two ago claimed that she kept piranhas as pets. Maybe they’re still alive, and since that boldie has gone the way of the dodo – made obsolete very quickly – then she can sell her piranha to any local casino, if she hasn’t cooked them already.

So back to my winnings. I have not yet called this Atty. Gozon, who for all I know may be a namesake of the GMA-7 big boss. Then again, maybe there really was a draw, and a namesake of mine could have actually won the P780k.

If so, I have some questions. Is this amount tax free? And why, oh why, couldn’t they have rounded the figure to P1 million?

I shall not look a gift horse in the mouth. I will, however, expect the Department of Trade and Industry to check out this obvious racket.

They can start by asking Globe or Smart—who owns the 0916 numbers anyway?—to trace whoever sent this message.

Maybe the National Bureau of Investigation can find out who’s behind the clearly illegal activity.

Then again, it could be for real. In which case, I really will jump up and down like an insane chimp. Once I get the cash, I will invite everyone to my favorite bar in Greenhills called Musika. The drinks are on me, guys.

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