She thought she wanted to be a chef. So she went to culinary school. Then she took up a wine course in Strasbourg, France. But looking back now, she did not remember the wines but instead just

got buzzed each day for three months during the wine course. Then she finally landed a job as a real chef.

It is a stressful job, being a chef, and according to some friends it drives you to drink in excess or even go into substance abuse. It is because of the stress of coming up with great meals in the shortest time possible (lunch hour or dinnertime must be the busiest most stressful two hours in a chefs life—everyday) and to please your clients.

But my friend Fa (that’s what I will call her for now) was looking for the right restaurant, the right employer and a job she would enjoy. Still in her 20s, with a diploma in cooking and wine classes tucked under her toque, she continued to search. She ended up in Thailand to take additional cooking classes in Thai cooking of course.

In one of her temple visits in Thailand, she met a lady who first noticed she did not know how to pray with the josh sticks and helped her. This lady she found out had the unusual job of cleaning homes for arriving Buddhist monk “stay-ins.”

Now let me explain. Many Buddhist monks travel to many remote areas within Thailand and before they come to a resting place, and “advance” party comes ahead to clean the house, dwelling or quarters before the monks’ arrival.

This lady saw that Fa seemed confused and forlorn. So she told Fa—“you are unhappy because you have not found a job you enjoy. You also think too much, and have forgotten how to feel instead of think,” the lady went on.

“Come with me, “ the lady told Fa. Her free spirit did not think twice about extending her stay in Thailand, went with the lady to the jungles, on to Chiang Mai, Chiang Rai and other places with this lady and they went around for three weeks cleaning homes. Fa realized that it was only when “she did things for others and not for herself” did she feel real happiness.

Others may find this story strange but think about it: We go on day by day, doing the work we chose or which chose us, always wanting to be perfect for ourselves, always wanting to do things because we have to, we need to.

Fa said she remembered fixing up meals quickly as a chef not because her clients expected the meals on time, but it was more of giving herself a perfect grade when she achieved tasks within the time frame she gave herself. In the end, it was still all about herself, her targets, her own ego. And many of us are guilty of this.

Sometimes, we should feel more, and not think too much. And Fa relates that it was only after her “advance cleaning team” experience in Thailand, being of service for others and liking it, did she finally find what she wanted to do. She found herself. She found her core.

Her life story is like an “Eat, Pray, Clean” (like Eat, Pray, Love) experience as she went to faraway lands (she was born and raised in Mexico City) to literally find herself. She remembers not having any money, not having a cellphone, yet she felt fulfilled, whole and complete just cleaning homes for others. By the way, because of that extended stay, she also was fired from her last cooking job as a chef. And so she went into writing, which she found was her real passion. She realized she did not want to be a chef after all.

Today she is a very busy food and travel writer and editor for a major magazine in Mexico City and she could not be happier.

And that was some lesson she learned in a period of about 10 years: You can only be happy and you can only find your real mission after you have lived for others and liked doing it. For as long as you still live only for your ego and for yourself, happiness will be elusive and fleeting.

It was a fulfilling experience to meet someone so whole, so complete and hear her story that it takes a life-changing experience like hers to finally find one’s core.

Chit Juan is a founder and owner of ECHOStore sustainable lifestyle, ECHOmarket sustainable farms and ECHOcafe in Serendra and Podium malls. She also heads the Women’s Business Council of the Philippines and the Philippine Coffee Board Inc., two non-profits close to her heart. She often speaks to corporates, youth and NGOs on social entrepreneurship, women empowerment, and coffee. You can follow her on twitter.com/chitjuan or find her on facebook:Pacita “Chit” Juan. Email her at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .