Love, actually

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CARLA BIANCA V. RAVANES

CARLA BIANCA V. RAVANES

Love never gives up. Love cares for others than for self. Love doesn’t strut. Love doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always ‘me first’, doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t revel when others grovel. It takes pleasure in the flowering of the truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back but keeps going to the end.”
— 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

IT was a lunch break just like the ones I usually take. Sitting merrily on my desk, I surround myself with photos from my travels in the past year in my Facebook profile. All the while, I was contently eating my pasta bought from a convenience store.

And just like an epiphany, I was hit with the realization that in my own little corner of the world, everyone was obsessed with love. Suddenly, I saw my timeline for what it is, an intricate gathering of hugot posts from both ends of the spectrum: the happy side and the sad side.

And while there are many highly intellectual posts in between, the essence of love could be found in the heart of almost all the posts I have encountered whether it be love for family, friends, work, and of course, their significant other. I carried this observation with me as I walked through malls, sat in coffee shops (I promise I didn’t mean to eavesdrop) and even during work meetings.


As a sucker for all kinds of love stories, it’s easy to fall in love with the idea of love. We all have our own preconceived notions about it and guiltily so, I have always thought that love meant perfection. Admittedly so, I entered late in the game, having experience it in all its glory and pitfalls at 27.

And I have come to understand that love is more than just an exchange of sweet nothings, and saying I love you. Love is staying up late because you have to consider the time difference, love is being patient when your significant other is busy, and more than anything, love is liberating yourself from past demons you have encountered to fully enjoy the gift of the person in front of you.

To love freely means being matured as well. I have always thought that love was always what the other person was doing for me and while as women, we should at the very least, pursued and fought for (feminists, calm down, you know what I’m all saying), we must also learn to be understanding.

It’s easy to be irrational and “crazy” especially if we have trusted before and have been let down, but my good friend Kay and I have always believed that if you love purely, that love will be returned to you one day.

Love, when its true, also challenges you to make yourself better. Love doesn’t suffocate you or push you to become a different version of yourself but rather makes you feel content in who you are but relentless in the pursuit of becoming a better person.

Fear can make us do insane things. It can make us run into the other direction, it can make us overthink, over analyze, and it can make us erect walls so high that it can sometimes lead to self-sabotage.

But love is the ability to overcome all fear, believe in the person you have chosen to give your heart to and moving forward blindly. Love is found in trusting the person and most importantly, love is letting yourself be loved as you are.

Because sometimes, unexpectedly so, it does come in its purest state making you realize that the waiting for it was definitely worth it.

May you find the love you truly deserve but most importantly, may you be brave enough to accept it because at the end of the day, we are all worthy of it.

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www.carlabiancaravanes.com

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