Life is defined by the seasons we are in.
The transition in between seasons barely come with warning signs. Pretty much just like the weather, changes come silently, you just wake up one day and you see that your winter has quietly blossomed into spring.
That’s how I feel today. At the brink of what could possibly be the biggest change of my life, I am left stunned at how swiftly life has changed. Less than a year ago, I was left heartbroken in the middle of SM Aura and now here I am, barely recalling what has transpired.
So much has happened since then and I shake my head at how anxious I have been. More heartbreaking changes came after that which included work, friends, and even a break from my older self.
Today, I barely recognize who I used to be, but in a good way. This is how I know that those changes were for the good and without them, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
As I enter into a new season, I decided to pen a letter to my former self as a reminder that truly life works out if you simply allow yourself to fall apart first.
This is the secret of life and one we should master.
Dear almost 27 year old self, I can recall how anxious you are and how displaced you feel about life. I understand that you feel lost and you have the strong desire to feel accepted by your peers. You’re scared and you’re afraid that if you unravel the real you, life would fall apart.
Well guess what? It does fall apart.
The jock ditches you for the beauty queen, your so-called friends betray you, and you find yourself realizing that the job you once loved isn’t where you want to be anymore. You question yourself, you try harder, and then eventually, you simply let it go and fall apart.
You let go of all that you have been told and for the first time ever, you learn to trust yourself with your own decisions. You begin to become accountable for your mistakes and accept the things you could never be along with the people who belittle you for not being who they want you to be.
You eventually fall in love with someone unexpected: it shatters you, it tears you apart but that brokenness will be the foundation of a better you who will eventually experience the love story you’ve always wanted. Because of that love, you understand what real love is supposed to be like.
You lose friends. You lose the “likers”. You spend a season alone but this season teaches you the beauty and strength of celebrating your own company. You finally learn how to not only love but also to be kind to yourself. This is enables you to be kind to others.
You fail at your job for the first time ever, you don’t get the promotion, and it feels like you’re back to zero. However, this is the season that you become brave enough to begin again. With humility in place, you’re braver to try new things and take on challenges. The “nothing to lose, nothing to prove” mentality has done you good and now you’re more open to learning more. In understanding that you don’t know everything, you open yourself up to countless learning opportunities.
You do find the love of your life but the process of meeting him and falling in love with him was rather unconventional. This is where humility comes into play once again because you finally understand what people meant when they said that God truly has His ways.
In this difficult season, you learn to be brave, something you’ve never been. You’ve never been more challenged but you’ve never been that strong either.
What used to matter no longer does and now your heart is free—the process may have been different but you have finally reached a point where all that matters is what God says and you learn to live out how to trust Him in all things.
The journey continues from here on but believe me when I say that you have made me proud. You have been bruised, battered, and torn apart and yet here you are stronger and more optimistic than ever.
Don’t let life overcome you, your spirit is stronger than any negativity that comes your way.
Till our next adventures,
Your almost 28 year old self.