My epic epic


Lo! once I finished
Sculpting my rhyming
Labor of love, my
Monumental burp,
My one-line epic,
The seven wonders
Of the word, I felt
Ah, beautific!
My avid readers
All raved, “Terrific!”
“Balderdash! Hogwash!”
Critiqued bald critic.

* * *

Metaphors for language

Language is a master
Of disguise who wears
Innumerable masks
Of fact and fancy,
Of context and meaning,
In a subtle masquerade
Of sound and sense.
Language is a persistent
Door-to-door salesman
Who panders empty

Praises, a voice box
Full of useless wares.
Language is a gossipy
Fish monger who sells
The stinking herrings
Of vulgar idioms
And pedestrian speech.
Language is a crafty
Guerilla fighter
Camouflaged with letters

To blend with the lush
Landscape of connotation
And ambush with unmeaning.
Language is a suave,
Double-talking politician
Who delivers to naive
Constituents of eavesdroppers
And perusers the exact
Opposite of what he promises.
Language is a coldblooded
Hitman employed by
A criminal syndicate
Of ruthless grammarians
Bent on wasting all
Petty hoods of hack writers
And verbal violators.
Beware, journeyman bard!
Language is the grinning
Devil himself who

Consigns every word
You mouth or script
To eternal damnation
In the hellfire of ambiguity.
As a parting word of warning,
Avoid the degenerating
Company of language
Before it is too late,
Before you are totally
Possessed by the sheer

Power of her invasive spirit,
Which can only be
Censured and condemned,
Erased and expunged,
Exorcized and expelled
Through the wisdom
Of the deaf and dumb
Who preach the holy
Gospel of silence
And the unspeakable.


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  1. Leslie DeLuca on

    I just realized I recently watched a documentary regarding some of these topic matters covered by your extremely fine crafted word play. I rather enjoyed this immensely and think it’s much more descriptive and accurate than that aforementioned documentary. I can see why this was published. CONGRATULATIONS.