|
“WE want to be sure of love,” wrote J.
Krishnamurti, “to peg it down so that it won’t elude us; we
reach conclusions, make agreements about it; we call it by various
names, with their special meanings; we talk about ‘my love,’
just as we talk about ‘my property,’ ‘my family,’ and we
hope to lock it safely away, so that we can turn to other things and
make sure of them too; but somehow it’s always slipping away when
we least expect it.”
When we fall in love, we are
obsessed with locking in our lover. Unless we are careful, we tend
to become jealous and controlling. We are possessive of the beloved
and most of our efforts are geared toward securing him or her.
Lovers are the world’s greatest
optimists. They are so sure that theirs is the world’s greatest
love. There is none like theirs to be found on the planet. Their
love is unique and made in heaven.
Try talking to them about obvious
weaknesses in the relationship and you are met with incredibility if
not open hostility. Lovers do not want to hear anything that does
not prove that theirs is the most powerful love around. Their love
is shockproof and cannot be shaken.
Then, somehow something goes
wrong and both realize that their love isn’t anything near what
they thought it was. When they find their love is getting battered
on the ropes, they are terribly confused and, more often than not,
do not know what to do because their mindset was locked into what
was believed to be the ideal relationship. When you are so convinced
you are the very best, you make no allowance for failure. And
chances are that you are not as vigilant or as prudent as you should
be.
You get sloppy and end up paying
the price for your carelessness. As your love slips away, you may
not be equipped to respond quickly and effectively. You get hit from
the blind side when you least expect it.
Try telling lovers that they must
closely guard their love. They won’t listen because they believe
their love is crisis proof. They are convinced that nothing and
nobody can shake it. Consequently, they get careless and, before
they can know what is happening, they wake up only to find their
love falling apart.
The wise couple takes nothing for
granted. They stay on guard and maintain a proactive mindset. At the
least sign of trouble, they spring into action. They believe that
theirs is a beautiful love, but unlike the less wise lovers, they
are aware that dynamic love is fragile and needs constant care and
vigilance.
If you have problems about
drugs, alcohol and behavior/attitude call my office at 820-6107 or
825-1771 or e-mail me at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box
2099 MCPO, Makati City.
|
