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YOU bless the day when you met the one you love. You feel like you
are walking on a cloud and are the luckiest person in the world.
Nothing, absolutely nothing can make you feel better than when you
experience a burning love.
When you look at your beloved, you are full of
admiration at the qualities and the caring and the love that you
feel. What you see is someone who comes to you already made, a
finished product so to speak, who stands before you. The truth,
however, is a bit more complicated. People don’t just drop out of
the sky, ready made. They are the product of time. From the moment
you are born, you begin the process of growing, not just physically,
but emotionally, psychologically and maturity-wise.
This evolution of a person includes the ability
to love. There are those (especially songwriters) who think that
love will automatically kick in when you meet the right person. It
may kick in, but die a premature death if the person does not have
what it takes to keep the fires of love burning. Falling in love is
easy. Staying in love is something else. And remaining in love for a
lifetime is never an accident—it is a decision.
Loving persons are those who, over the years,
have developed their capacity to love. They are people who have
practiced how to love over and over again so that when that right
person comes along, they do what comes naturally to them. They just
keep on loving, but this time the beloved is a very special person.
We know of selfish persons who take a lot more
than they ever give. We have seen them and been victims of their
self-centeredness. These unfortunate ones have not been able to
prepare themselves for a relationship because they have failed to
master the art of loving. They somehow believe that when that
special person comes into their life, a miracle, the miracle of
love, will happen and they will be able to love like they never have
before.
Not true. The art of loving is something that is
learned, practiced and nurtured over time. Any skill (and loving
effectively and consistently is a skill) takes time to acquire. It
is wishful thinking to believe that falling in love will
automatically confer on one the ability to breeze through the
process of deeply loving another person. That won’t happen.
If you have problems about drugs, alcohol and
behavior/attitude call my office at 82-06107 or 825-1771 or e-mail
me at gvcbuenca@vasia.com
or write me at P.O. Box 2099 MCPO, Makati City.
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