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IS it important for politicians to know how to remove
lice? If you are a politician and prefer being cool-headed and want
to avoid emotional stress or loss of sleep, you should know it’s
good for you.
According to Dr. Socorro Toledo
of the Philippine Dermatological Society, head lice infestation is
on the rise and politicians are the most prone to it. “Politicians
who kiss babies and hug children are likely to get kuto,” Dr.
Toledo told a recent health forum in Quezon City.
Politicians are good mixers and
they love crowds. The bigger the crowd the better. They shake hands
and wave to the sea of faces. They grab babies and small kids and
kiss them. The kids are mainly quiet. And why not? The politicians
don’t know what they’re getting.
People transmit crawling insects
such as lice through body contact. Politicians are good lice
carriers because they travel a lot and meet all sorts of people.
“Lice don’t care whether you
are rich or poor. They just want human blood to survive,” Toledo
said. Does this remind you of some politicians you know?
Some politicians cannot tell the
difference between the lice in the head from the lies in the mind.
They certainly sound the same. Of course, you can choose to have one
of the two, but if you are politician you can have both.
It is easy to detect someone
having head lice. It is difficult to discern the politician’s
lies.
According to Toledo, people with
head lice love to scratch their heads, and they find it difficult to
focus on their work. “People with head lice are ill-tempered,”
she said.
How do you discern a
politician’s lies? They might acquiesce to having head lice, but
they will never admit telling a lie. What about their unmet
promises? Well, as one louse said to another: You have to be patient
with my promises.
In recent Senate committee
hearings, people saw several senators scratching their heads,
especially when a witness gave vague answers. When the scratching
become furious, you begin to wonder: How big are the lice on the
senators’ heads?
What about the senators who
repeat already-asked question when it is their time to grill the
witness? They lack focus and we suspect they also have lice on their
heads. What do you make of senators who are hot-tempered? They snap
at the witness and even their colleagues who disagree with their
views. Maybe, they are ill-tempered because they have lice on their
heads.
Is it the same situation at the
House of Representatives? Well, congressmen carry two important
items in their pockets: a pen and fine-tooth comb. Of course, it’s
not true that some of them have taken drastic measures by shaving
their heads.
The PDS said head lice are
prevalent among school children. But the children are taking revenge
at the rough treatment they get. It’s scary when an unknown guy
picks you up and throws you into the air. After he catches you he
gives you a blast of bad breath in the guise of kissing your cheeks.
The politicians use the children
to show off and draw people’s attention as part of “common
folks” appeal. The children, in turn, get back at them by
infesting them with head lice.
Politicians who shave their hair
pose a problem to schoolchildren when they insist to be hugged or
kissed. The children can infest instead their beards, if they have
one, or body hairs, but it’s not known yet whether the head lice
will work as body lice.
The children’s worse nightmare
is for us to have a Congress full of members who are bald like an
egg. It means that the politicians are wiser now.
Other than the senators and
congressmen, we still have local government officials such as mayors
and governors, who have full crop of hairs. They are also easy
victims of head lice. Maybe they are not yet aware of the advantage
of being bald. Let’s not tell them.
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