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WHEN a child is still a little one, he is such a joy.
Cute and endearing in his ways, he brightens up our day and brings
smiles to our lips. We watch him learn to talk and walk and then
run. The heart skips a beat when he stumbles and he falls. We spend
a lot of time teaching him the skills and the values we believe he
needs in order to have a good life.
Then he grows into his teen
years and sometimes things change. He takes on new attitudes that we
don’t like. His behavior becomes defiant and perhaps even
self-destructive. We feel we are losing him as his life spins out of
control.
We feel we need to do something
and we try everything, but nothing seems to work out. At the end of
our rope and losing heart we look for professional help. We might
try various counselors, but still there is no progress.
We come to the conclusion that
his friends, environment and so many other factors (drugs, alcohol,
and lifestyle) are working against him. So we decide to put him in
rehab.
It is an agonizing decision, but
we feel we have no other choice, so we do it.
Below is just such an account
written by the mother of one of our Nazareth residents. Perhaps
there are some of my readers who can learn from her story. She is a
very sharing woman who quickly consented to my request that she
writes something for you, my readers.
“Where did we go wrong?
What’s wrong with our son?
What have I done to deserve this?
How can he do this to us?
We have given him everything!
I’m a hands-on mother—how
could this have happened?
I don’t know him anymore…
Maybe we should have…
What do we do? Where do we go?
When will this end?
Why!?!!!
“If this is your daily litany
– you are not alone. Countless families are asking the same
agonizing questions. Unfortunately very few have had the courage to
accept that there is something terribly wrong going on in their
loved one’s life.
“Over two years ago our
family’s life was one low after another with seemingly no highs in
sight.
“Suddenly our home was no
longer the peaceful haven it once was but seemed like a war zone
with countless encounters. Painful encounters with our beloved
child. Threats, recriminations, pleadings, blame tossing became the
menu for the day. I dreaded waking up in the morning for fear of
facing another anguish-filled day. When I did fall asleep it was
with the hope that all that was happening was just a terrible
nightmare and I would wake up with my family whole and our home
peaceful as it once was.
“I prayed countless novenas,
for I knew in my heart my family was being torn apart and we
didn’t know what to do. I made a lot of mistakes along the way –
I over compensated, I broke every rule I held dear making excuses
and justifying them. I was desperately running around in circles.
“My teenager son was totally
out of control. Gone was the sweet, loving and playful son. At our
wits end, we sought the help of psychotherapists and went through
all kinds of psychological tests and even brain scanning in
desperate attempts to determine what was going on. There was the
theory of raging hormones, anger management, etc.
“We also had him tested for
drugs which initially turned out negative. He went into counseling
for months, to no avail. When drug abuse again loomed as a possible
cause of his bizarre behavior we were in denial—NO!!! He can’t
be taking drugs. Then after months of agonizing finally the
acceptance of “YES he is”, but we can manage it. Or so we
thought.
Blinders, blinders, blinders!!!!
Denial, denial, denial!!!!
If you have problems about
drugs, alcohol and behavior/attitude call my office at 820-6107 or
825-1771 or e-mail me at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box
2099 MCPO, Makati City.
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