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LET’S face it, all of us are constantly changing.
We are not today what we were yesterday. Time and various
circumstances change us in many ways. The quiet and submissive woman
you married 10 years ago has risen through the ranks of her company
and now holds an important position. She earns more than you do and
has a newfound sense of self. Her self-esteem has risen and she is
no longer the meek woman you married.
Change can be for the better or
for the worse. And even beneficial change can sometimes bring about
a negative response. If the woman above is married to an insecure
man, her movement up the ladder of success might bring about some
unexpected reactions from the spouse. He might resent her success
and even put pressure on her to change job. He could become jealous
of her and begin to harass her.
She might see lots of changes in
the way she sees her husband. She may lose respect for him as she
moves around in circles with successful men like her. Some of these
guys might even make passes at her and she could see them as better
partners than the man she married who seems to be falling farther
and farther behind her.
Or perhaps one of the spouses
goes abroad to earn more for the family and the other is left at
home. Long distance relationships are exceedingly difficult to
maintain over long periods of time. After a while, needs fail to be
met and long absences make the heart grow colder. The gap between
the couple widens until it becomes a chasm. The situation is a clear
invitation to infidelity. More marriages have broken down because of
long distance relationships than you can imagine.
Changes, all kind of changes,
even good ones, can challenge a marriage and upset a relationship so
badly that it cannot regain what was lost.
Couples need to stay alert when
faced with changes. They must not underestimate the power of even
beneficial changes to upset their love. They might even decide to
forego change and keep the status quo if they believe that it might
threaten their love.
Be that as it may, the truth is
that all of us are constantly changing. Whether we like it or not;
whether we accept it or not, the truth is that as we age, we change.
Wise couples know this and are constantly watching for these changes
and working together to deal with them accordingly.
If you have problems about
drugs, alcohol and behavior/attitude call my office at 820-6107 or
825-1771 or e-mail me at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box
2099 MCPO, Makati City.
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