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IS it fair for a man or a woman to ask for the heart
and affections of someone they like, but do not have any plans of
furthering the relationship? I don’t think so. It seems so unfair
for a man, for instance, to date a woman, make her feel that he
loves her, (even if he has lots of good feelings about her) and
then, later on, leave her. Likewise, it is just as unfair for a
woman to lead a man on and make him feel as if they can have a
future together when she has no intention of letting that happen.
Because of our need to be loved and to feel the affection and
affirmation from somebody special, we play at the game of love. Some
play because they are truly serious about finding a partner to
marry. They believe that the time is ripe to begin the search in
earnest. It isn’t time to play around and pretend to be sincerely
looking for a lifetime partner when one isn’t.
Then there are those who date
just for the sake of having someone. They have a need to prove to
themselves and to their friends that they are lovable and desirable.
Though they are not at all ready, nor do they desire to marry,
still, they play at the game of love. They get a partner and behave
as if “this is it.” They talk as if they have met the person of
their dreams. They act as if marriage is right around the corner,
but that is the last thing on their minds.
They just want to have fun. They
like the going out and the fun and games that dating provides. Then
there are the forbidden pleasures that are reserved for married
people. They can have those too and enjoy themselves without having
to carry the heavy responsibilities of keeping a spouse and raising
a family.
It’s all about enjoying and
having fun. But then, like the innocent one who gets into heavy
gambling and loses big time, life can get awfully complicated. More
couples get dragged into ill-advised marriages because of their
reckless playing at the game of love. They do not understand that
love relationships can have some very serious consequences. Perhaps
it is because they lack the maturity and the proper guidance.
Parents who allow their children barely in their teens to date and
to have steady boyfriends and girlfriends do not “get it,” as
they say. They fail to comprehend the seriousness of playing at the
game of love. As a consequence, they often reap a storm of problems
that can change the family forever. There are the unwanted
pregnancies, the early and the ill-prepared marriages that are
doomed from the very beginning. There are the inevitable and bitter
breakups that follow. The neglected children of such unions are
damaged and need care and healing if the same is not to be repeated
all over again. Love isn’t a game. Those who make it such will
sooner or later pay the price for their folly.
If you have problems about
drugs, alcohol and behavior/attitude call my office at 820-6107 or
825-1771 or e-mail me at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box
2099 MCPO, Makati City.
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