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Not all abortion attempts are successful, whether induced or direct.
Most instances point to cases where the abortion pill did not work
especially when the baby is over four months old. Myrna Sanchez of
the Center for Family Ministries says if the abortion failed and the
baby survived, we call the baby an “abortion survivor.”
A counselor at the center, Sanchez speaks of the
effects of attempted abortion in the survivor, his relationships and
inner dynamics, and how he may be helped. Because abortion is
illegal in the country, people can never tell how many abortion
survivors are aware or unaware of what happened to them in their
mothers’ wombs and how many are still silently screaming for help.
In the Philippines, the most common method of
doing abortion is the intake of abortifacients, or abortion pills.
Cytotec (a drug misused as an abortifacient), in particular, is
openly sold in the streets of Quiapo. For most women, abortion is a
“quick-fix” to their dilemma, an instant solution to their
crisis.
Sanchez explains that when there is an attempted
abortion, there is a disruption in the bonding (called the utero
bonding) between the mother and the child.
“If a child that is born is totally dependent
on his caregiver [supposedly the mother], how much more will a
fetus be totally dependent and helpless inside the womb?” she
asks.
Sanchez adds that there is in each of us a need
to bond with our mother during infancy in order to proceed with life
in a healthy manner. This gives us a positive self-worth. But if the
bonding is disrupted or not at all present during infancy, it leaves
an imprint on the child’s psyche that “I am not welcome” or
“Something must be wrong with me,” creating a negative
self-concept for the child.
Not all abortion survivors manifest the same
effects of attempted abortion. Researches reveal that some can be
depressed and suicidal; some also experience narcissistic
deprivation.
“They feel unloved so they feel a sense of
emptiness too,” Sanchez says. “Because they feel unloved and
empty, they tend to fill themselves with many things that they think
will give meaning to their lives. This can come in many
ways—attention-seeking, perfectionism [need for approval],
addiction, severe need for acknowledgment, unhealthy collection of
things and many other excessive negative things.”
There are many people around who exhibit such
behaviors. But, of course, it is important to remember that they are
not necessarily abortion survivors. But if they are, how can we help
them?
Some patients come to therapy complaining of
recurring dreams, anxiety attacks, hyper-vigilance, startled
responses, paranoia and other unexplainable intrusions. There are
people who often dream that they are being killed or endangered.
Their dreams come because their inner selves want them to face
certain life issues so that healing could take place.
Sanchez suggests that abortion survivors be made
aware of what happened to them so they can take responsibility for
their own healing. Most mothers, however, don’t have the courage
to admit to this to their children. In cases like these, Sanchez
also suggests that the mother and child attend therapy sessions
together so they can go through the healing and forgiveness process
together.
--Sherryl Anne G. Quito
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