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WHEN a woman discovers that her man has cheated on
her, she is devastated. Her whole world falls apart. She is gripped
with fear. Fear of what might happen to her relationship or
marriage. What does the betrayal mean in the short and long term?
What about her children?
What impact will their father’s
infidelity have on them when they learn of it? How will the loss of
trust affect her relationship with him? Will it survive? Does she
want it to survive? What if she separates? What if she does not
leave him? Will this be the beginning of more infidelity? Will she
find other cases of unfaithfulness? Will she ever be able to forget
even if she forgives?
What will it be like when they
make love? Will he be thinking of the other woman? How often was he
thinking of her while having sex before she learned of his affair?
Countless questions and no real
answers. She feels exceedingly heavy of heart. She wonders if she
will ever get over this trauma. It really is a traumatic event.
Something that she will never forget.
She isn’t sure how she should
deal with him. Should she scream at him? Throw things at him? Send
him out of the house, or perhaps leave the house and take the kids?
If the children are teenagers, should she tell them? How will it
affect them, their school and more importantly their relationship
with their father?
The woman who learns about her
man’s infidelity is getting crazy with the heaviness that has
fallen over her. She cannot sleep well. She might lose weight, or
perhaps over-eats. She cries a lot, often alone. She might tell a
close friend or her family. Her world is turned upside down and she
has no idea how to turn it back right side up.
It is this confusion, this
feeling of being lost and not knowing what to do that is killing
her. He says he’s sorry. But if he’s truly sorry, why did he go
on with the woman for this long? Why did he hide all this time? Why
say sorry only after he got caught? Why not before, when he had the
chance to open up, but never did?
If he says he will leave
the other woman, will he truly leave her or will he sneak behind her
back and secretly see her? And if he really leaves her, will he keep
her in his head and perhaps think about her when they are making
love?
Questions, questions and more
questions! So many possibilities and no guarantees.
It is very difficult to
understand the mind of the woman who has been victimized unless you
have been there yourself. Impossible to truly know the agony she is
experiencing and the pain that just will not go away.
If you have problems about
drugs, alcohol and behavior/attitude call my office at 820-6107 or
825-1771 or e-mail me at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box
2099 MCPO, Makati City.
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