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Sen. Juan Miguel Zubiri owes the public a big favor.
After that unexpected compliment from a lady colleague about his
butt, people are curious what it looks like. The senator must have a
photograph taken of his “beautiful bottom” and have it published
in a mass-circulated newspaper. Fair is fair. We want to have a
look, too.
We have no reason to contest Sen.
Jamby Madrigal’s description of Zubiri’s “beautiful bottom”
during deliberations in the Senate a few weeks ago. In fact, we
trust her judgment. Why not? Senator Madrigal is a member of that
venerable institution, the Senate, and millions of people elected
her into that position. When a lady senator says you have a
beautiful bottom, that’s that.
We admire Sen. Juan Ponce
Enrile’s guts (literally?) when he sought clarification about
Senator Zubiri’s butt. He said: “If I were in the place of
Senator Zubiri, I would have asked [Senator Madrigal]: Which part
you admire? [You like it] central, sideways, rear ways or front ways
…”
Enrile, who is the most senior
member of the Senate, admitted he never got such comment about his
behind. “No, my butt is not attractive enough to anyone.” Such
candor about butts in the Senate is rare. Sen. Enrile deserves our
admiration.
In case the bottom issue touched
some sensibilities, Sen. Miriam Santiago, who is known not to mince
words on sensitive issues, said Madrigal’s description of
Zubiri’s ass was not insulting. She said there was no need to
bring her before the ethics committee for un-parliamentary behavior.
“Today, if we are going to be liberal, that’s no longer
considered an insult,” Santiago said. Who among us will dare to
object?
But reporters who covered the
deliberations said Zubiri blushed and was tongue-tied by
Madrigal’s reference to his posterior during interpellations on
his privileged speech on global warming. Madrigal was using the
rostrum at the back of the session hall, while Zubiri was at the
rostrum in front. Zubiri apologized to her because he could not face
her while responding to her questions. “It’s OK. I prefer to see
your beautiful bottom,” Madrigal said.
Sen. Madrigal is probably right.
And a lot of people, especially the butt connoisseurs, will agree
with her.
There is, however, just one
quibble. Some people say it is in the back (not the bottom?) of
their minds. Did she look at the other senators’ buttocks before
she came into a conclusion over Zubiri’s behind? Has anybody
looked lately on Enrile’s butt?
Enrile, of course, has admitted
his butt is not good enough.
But nobody will swear that he’s
being modest. And what about the butts of Panfilo Lacson, Aquilino
Pimentel, Chiz Escudero, Jinggoy Estrada and the others? Has
Madrigal peeked behind Senate President Manny Villar’s chair?
To set things right, should all
the male senators, including the Senate President, line up so that
Senator Madrigal could inspect their butts? If it’s not practical,
then a rule should be laid down. The men should use only the rostrum
in front so the women can look at their behinds.
We are not saying Senator
Madrigal rushed her judgment on Zubiri’s butt. Maybe she did, but
she’s not talking about it. The senator has made her judgment and
“that’s that.”
There is no need for a
parliamentary inquiry on what constitutes a beautiful bottom.
There’s no need for an investigation in aid of legislation. The
senator has made her judgment and that’s that.
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