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By Anna Oposa
Ahh, the thrill of a first date.
There’s the exciting possibility of seeing sparks and hearing
violins with instant, inexplicable chemistry. But then again,
there’s also the unnerving risk of seeing imaginary tumbleweeds
roll and listening to the sound of crickets on a bad date. I know
first impressions don’t always last, but they do linger for a
while. Make sure to put your best Havaianas, Crocs, or Chucks
forward by following the tried-and-tested ground rules.
First of all, the term
“fashionably late” doesn’t apply to first dates. No one likes
to wait or be waited for, especially when you’re only at the
getting-to-know-you stage.
Come on time. A little surprise
such as a small gift, flowers (does anyone still do that?), and food
adds points.
The surprise of not telling your
date where you’re bringing her can pose a problem because she
won’t know what to wear. That may sound silly, but dressing
appropriately is a very important matter. Imagine if she’s dressed
for a lazy day at the mall and you bring her to a club. Or if
she’s dressed for a club and you bring her to a family reunion.
Plunging necklines and sparkly makeup may fascinate unmarried uncles
and teenage cousins, but certainly not parents and grandparents.
Besides, bringing her to a family reunion on the first date isn’t
a bright idea. My usual talkative self shriveled up and could not be
found for the next two hours. Add the fact that my date’s aunt
called me by his ex’s name. Twice. I conclude that family affairs
are reserved for the later stage.
If you’re going to a party,
know your alcohol limit. Tipsy can be good. Drunk? Not so good. You
might end up revealing too much information about yourself or worse,
be remembered as “the date who threw up all over me and passed
out.” Don’t leave your date alone if you’re in a party with
your friends. And don’t be afraid to hit the dance floor. If you
don’t know how to dance, then at least try to look cute pretending
like you know how. It’s all a matter of execution.
Girls, when you’re asked where
you want to eat, be honest. Playing the pakipot isn’t going to
help. If he brings you to an Indian restaurant and you secretly
shudder at Indian food, you’ll spend the whole evening gagging
over curry and rotti. You can politely suggest another place. And
guys don’t buy the “I’ll just have a salad” line anymore. I
tried that once. Later on he heard my stomach grumble angrily. We
ended up heading to McDonald’s and binging on greasy-but-yummy
fast-food meals.
Over the meal shared, begin with
light topics such as school, work, mutual friends, hobbies and
interests. This can branch off to unexpected discoveries such as a
common passion for Power Rangers or Bread Pan. Talking about
politics and religion may be too heavy. If your opinions differ, it
may cause unwanted tension. But of course it’s OK to discuss those
if you met in the same rally or church activity.
Be reminded that we exist in the
21st century, not the 17th. Men no longer have to pay for
everything. Women are allowed to split or contribute to the bill. If
the guy pays for the movie tickets, the girls can buy the popcorn
and drinks or at the very least fork over loose change for the
parking fee.
After the date, please try to
catch a glimpse of your smile at a mirror and discreetly pop in a
breath mint or two because the opportunity for a kiss can come. I
doubt anyone gets turned on by pesto bits in between the two front
teeth or garlic bread breath. For the “to kiss or not to kiss?”
dilemma, it is best to follow gut instinct. If you feel it’s too
soon to plant a kiss on the lips, a simple peck on the cheek should
be OK.
Don’t expect an invite to a
second date immediately. Don’t pry, nag, or hint too much about
it. It might scare your date into thinking you’re clingy when your
intention was to repeat the good time you had. If you don’t get
the sparks and violins you wanted, don’t feel too bad. As long as
you didn’t see tumbleweeds and hear crickets, at the least you
have gained a friend. Or a horrible-date story to tell.
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