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By Rome Jorge, Lifestyle
Editor
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Fading
pop culture icon from the 80s turns
author with the launch of his first book, Lies
My Yaya Should Have Told Me: RJ Ledesma’s
Imaginary Guide to Whine and Women. |
HE started his literary career
here at The Manila Times. His column, “Playing with My Tools,”
reintroduced Filipinos readers to RJ Ledesma, then better known for
being that kid, Joey, in the Royal Tru Orange commercial (if
you’re old enough to remember, you’re old—like RJ and I are)
who was sent by his mommy to buy some suka [vinegar, not puke]. He
also co-hosted for that FHM-like TV show Men’s Room. In his column
entries, he intimated: his fixation with supermodel Phoemela
Barranda; his dependence on his yaya [nanny/wet nurse], belying any
similarity of television commercial persona with his true
self—that of a scion of real estate development empire, Ledesco;
and his supposedly henpecked and Catholic-guilt-stricken
relationship with Vanessa, now his wife. Read it and weep:
The Comet that Killed the
Dinosaurs [RJ Ledesma’s pet name for his girlfriend, specifically
when she’s pissed at him]: Why do you keep writing about Phoemela
Barranda!? You think I find that funny!? Every week it’s Phoem
this and Phoem that! It’s enough already that I have to compete
with your yaya sleeping beside you at night, then Phoem pa!
RJ the dead idiot: What does this
have to do with what we’re talking about? Love, you know I’m
just writing about Phoem for humorous exaggeration, and you didn’t
have to let the readers know about my yaya . . .
- Playing With My Tools, The
Manila Times, May 29, 2005
Later, Ledesma became Editor in
Chief of Manual Magazine. And then he left to us to write for that
other newspaper filled with star columnists. Arrgh. The turncoat!
But we know the dirt on Ledesma. And so does everyone, thanks to his
new book, Lies My Yaya Should Have Told Me: RJ Ledesma’s Imaginary
Guide to Whine and Women.
They say it’s a bestseller,
most especially after it was allegedly mandated as required reading
for the rank and file of Ledesco. Friends of Ledesma (as well as
complete and utter strangers) can expect to receive copies of his
book for Christmas, Valentine’s, Halloween, and on their wedding,
baptism, confirmation and circumcision. Sources allege that this is
but the first in Ledesma’s quest for ultimate power.
Rumor has it that a movie
musicale based on the book (starring Barranda no less and the
dashing Andrew E as Ledesma) is set to be released shortly before
the campaign season of the next elections, where Ledesma is said to
run for President under a platform of free government-subsidized
soft drinks, a ban on all meat products and calls for an orange
revolution.
Oh, about the book. It’s
kind’a funny.
Be on the lookout for special
copies with centerfold spread photos of Ledesma and nanny. Do not
open—not unless you value the meal you ate beforehand.
In it as well are insights into
the Pinoy psyche—at least the psyche of Pinoy who’s a vegan yoga
instructor, real estate magnate, Couples for Christ member and
men’s magazine editor. Definitely, the author is your typical guy.
Already, literary critics have
lavished praise on the book:
“It made me cry.”
-RJ Ledesma
Kidding aside, the book delivers
oodles on the science behind romance such as the biochemistry of
pheromones and oxytocins. It also delivers realistic situationers
about romance and relationship for 21st century Pinoys—like
Catholic guilt about premarital sex and skulking about drive-in
motels just the same.
It’s a must read, especially
for employees of Ledesco.
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