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NEVER tell someone he/she is not in love because
it’s an exercise in futility. Regardless of all the facts that you
can come up with, lovers will never agree with you.
They say that the heart has
reasons that reason cannot know. Whoever said that must have been
caught up in an unreasonable love. An unreasonable love is one which
most persons judge to be toxic and consequently unworkable in the
long term.
Any love, even the most fragile
kind, can last for a while. There is something in the initial
exhilaration and excitement that love provides that creates a
momentum that can carry a relationship forward. Love’s initial
push can be quite strong even in incompatible love. This is why
unreasonable love can survive, even flourish, for a while. Sooner or
later, however, it wilts and dies.
When the death of a love occurs,
there is a sudden awakening, like the lights going on in one’s
head, and things quickly become clear. Now, the true nature of the
relationship is seen. There is an admission that this love was a
terrible mistake and that it should never have happened. In the heat
of early love, however, the lovers are blinded by the power of their
feelings. Reason is pushed into the background while the tremendous
joy that love generates overshadows reason. It is only when the
mist, the blur that beginning love creates dissipates that the true
situation is revealed and the lovers start looking into each other
and discover things that they totally overlooked before. This is
when the weaknesses of love gets exposed. This is when the lovers
get a reality check. This is also when doubts may set in as the
lovers start questioning their love and each other.
This is especially true if
couples had short courtships. Love causes lovers to desire to posses
the beloved. In their haste, countless lovers refuse to give their
relationship a second look. They refuse to probe and double check
their love. Sometimes it is because they fear finding something
wrong that will cause the relationship to weaken and eventually
collapse. Sometimes it’s just great haste and a feeling of “This
is it. It can’t be wrong because we are truly made for each
other.”
It’s amazing how sappy lovers
are when it comes to checking out their relationship. Undoubtedly
it’s because they fear finding something that will shake up their
love. Mostly though, I think it’s because the feelings of love are
so great, so powerful that they virtually wipe out fear and doubt.
Love gives one such a sense of security that the lovers feel no need
to check things out.
It is just such blind trust that
causes so many to make such horrible mistakes which they often
regret for the rest of their lives.
If you have problems about
drugs, alcohol and behavior/attitude call my office at 8206107 or
8251771 or e-mail me at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box
2099 MCPO, Makati City.
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