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SOME people like it. Some feel uncomfortable with it. Some find it
difficult to give it. Others find it hard to accept it. Many are
hungry for it.
It is the sign of affection. Affection is
defined by Webster as “a fond or tender feeling toward another.”
It is what is obvious in young lovers who are in
the midst of courtship. It is there for all to see in the newly
married.
Warm embraces, handholding, touches, beautiful
smiles, tender words—All signs of a blossoming love.
It is difficult to imagine a love relationship
getting anywhere without lots of affection. It is affection that is
the exterior sign of what a lover feels in his heart. It may
clumsily be shown, but affection is necessary if love is to prosper.
I may love you, but if you cannot feel it, then,
as far as you are concerned, I don’t love you even if I do.
Affection is a mark of respect for the one you
love. By showing affection, you are telling your beloved how
valuable, how precious she is to you. You are aware of her and care
for her.
Affection is what causes a relationship to soar.
It’s what makes lovers feel so good about each other, so
appreciated, so loved.
Longtime lovers whose love burns brightly after
years and years are almost always strong in showing affection for
each other.
My grandparents, married 64 years, were very
affectionate. So were all the couples whose marriages were still
full of warmth and good feelings after long years of living
together.
The tragedy is that whenever a couple gets into
trouble and the relationship begins to shake, some of the first
things to go are the signs of affection. When love cools, lovers are
not as affectionate as they used to be. Conflict, anger, frustration
have a way of killing off those marks of affection that
characterized new and intense love. When things are not going well
between lovers, they do not feel like reaching out to each other.
Instead, they tend to retreat into themselves,
nurse their wounds and fight back to gain some advantages.
It is, however, during this time of crisis that
affection is most needed to heal old wounds and reassure the lovers
that all is not lost. It is at this time that affection is seen as
proof that love is not yet dead, that it still lives in the midst of
the crisis.
If you believe that affection is becoming less
intense in your relationship, then, you must carefully look inward
and search for the cracks that are certainly there. You need to ask
what has gone wrong because surely things are not as they should be.
And if you cannot seem to get that level of affection up once again,
then I will bet that your relationship is in trouble.
One of the first signs of a love slipping into
trouble is the dwindling of the marks of affection. As the level of
affection falls, so does love. As affection dries up, the heart
grows cold and the end is just over the horizon.
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If you have problems about drugs, alcohol and
behavior/attitude call my office at 8206107 or 8251771 or e-mail me
at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box 2099 MCPO, Makati
City.
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