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It was a love made in heaven, a dream love come true. Paul McCartney
met his ideal woman after his beloved wife passed away. Now his
loneliness would be something of the past. He would find happiness
and contentment once again in the arms of his new bride.
Well, that was what was supposed to happen, but
it didn’t. Instead, he ended up in a two-year legal battle with
his “dream girl” as they fought over the settlement after his
acrimonious divorce. He finally had to pay her $48 million to be
free of her. And even then, she wasn’t happy. She wanted a lot
more even if she was getting about $1 million a month for every year
she had been married to him.
It would be interesting to read what was in her
mind when she married him. But that isn’t possible. We can,
however, suspect that there is a good chance that, considering the
lengthy fight over money these past two years, surely financial gain
had to play a great part in her decision to marry him. After all,
the former Beatle is, according to the court, worth $800 million,
even though his ex-wife says it’s twice that amount.
She blames him and he blames her for the
breakup. Who is really to blame? I’m sure that both are, one
perhaps more than the other for sure, but both brought their share
of problems to the marriage.
When you deal with a person in any circumstance,
you are dealing with his past. The man who is hostile toward you the
first time you meet has his reasons for behaving as such. They may
not be at all clear to him, but they are there nevertheless. People
have reasons, memories, and triggers that prompt them to behave one
way or another.
I know an old lady who hates Japanese. She hates
the sight of them because, during the war, many of her relatives
were killed by cruel soldiers. It does not matter, if some of these
Japanese were not even born when the war broke out. They are
Japanese and she just does not like them at all. I think she would
get crazy if her daughter fell in love with one of them and married
him. Surely, her relationship with her son-in-law would be terribly
strained ever if the guy was a living saint.
We need to understand ourselves very well if we
are to find happiness in a love relationship. We cannot expect to
shed our past, our history, our beliefs and our established patterns
of behavior when we enter into relationship, any kind of
relationship or love. We need to be reminded that we drag our past
into our relationships. And so does the other person we are dealing
with. This knowledge of ourselves and of others will determine
whether we succeed or fail.
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If you have problems about drugs, alcohol and
behavior/attitude call my office at 820-6107 or 825-1771 or e-mail
me at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box 2099 MCPO, Makati
City.
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