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Date: August 17, 2008
Memorandum for the President
From the Presidential Adviser on Sports
Subject: Hosting the 2032 Olympics
I agree with Your Excellency that
the Philippines should start thinking about hosting the Summer
Olympics by 2032 or thereabouts. As you have envisioned, the country
could become a First World state by that time, enjoying a
world-class economy with the wealth and resources to host the Games.
I agree further that the
feasibility study you assigned to me, for discussion and approval at
a Cabinet meeting, would be a good legacy to an incoming
administration in the 2030s, possibly headed by President Mikey
Arroyo or President Dato Macapagal Arroyo.
Sponsoring the 2032 Games, once
we get the IOC nod, is our historic coming-out party on the world
stage. It will boost our national identity, galvanize national pride
and reinvigorate the country’s economy.
The 2032 Olympics could be
expected to host 200 countries, which could be sending a total of
12,000 athletes and thousands of coaches, trainers, referees and
umpires. They will be competing in 402 events with 2,000 medals at
stake.
Expected to attend are scores of
International Olympics Committee officials and 70 to 100 heads of
government. A crush of thousands of spectators and tourists is a
reasonable estimate. The international media will include thousands
of reporters, cameramen, broadcasters and announcers from TV, radio
and the press. The 2032 Games would last about 17 days.
We need to build a huge Olympic
Stadium occupying thousands of hectares somewhere in Metro Manila.
The Olympic Village and the Press Center possibly in Taguig would
occupy a very vast space. Expect full occupancy for the hotels and
motels. The Olympics will cost the taxpayers at least $20 billion,
but that is of no moment.
Here are some thoughts on the big
event.
For a mascot, we could adopt the
carabao as the official pet.
We should insist on the inclusion
of ballroom dancing to increase our chances for the gold medal.
Let’s persuade the IOC to include marathon texting. By all means,
we should promote events that are popular with Filipinos especially
basketball, boxing, billiards, bowling and swimming.
By 2030, we should have cleaned
Metro Manila of all Bayani Fernando posters.
We can expect the Bangsamoro
Juridical Entity to send its athletes to compete with the Christian
and Lumad Filipinos and other nations.
Impress on our countrymen that
not all Caucasians are Americans. Pinoys should be sensitive to the
identity and cultures of Europeans, Canadians, Australians and other
non-US-Americans.
Reduce the bad air pollution
beginning in 2030 by cutting road transportation in Metro Manila by
50 percent. Rescue Manila Bay and the Pasig River from further
poisoning.
Launch chicken-pork adobo as the
official dish. It could be taken either with rice or bread.
Round up all beggars,
prostitutes, street children, petty thieves and the homeless
beginning August 2031.
Resolve the garbage collection
and processing crisis once and for all by creating a small
municipality to serve as the national dumping ground.
Filipino drivers are generally
reckless, discourteous and undisciplined. Require all
public-transport drivers to attend a month-long course on good
manners and responsible driving.
Ensure cleanliness and order at
the international airports. Ban huge crowds from seeing off and
welcoming every local traveler.
Expedite customs and immigration
services.
Dismantle the pink public toilets
in Metro Manila. Maintain sanitation in restaurant restrooms and
kitchens. Arrest and jail men who pee in public. Organize the Good
Conduct Police to check littering, spitting and graffiti.
Clear sidewalks of vendors and
illegally parked cars. Demolish shanties built on esteros and the
banks of Pasig and Manila Bay.
If we cannot get rid of slums, we
should at least repaint the hovels and erect colorful fences around
them. Require the menfolk to dress fully in public and ban public
drinking.
Train a corps of
translators and interpreters to help non-English speakers navigate
and get around Metro Manila.
Reassure visitors that Filipino
doctors are trustworthy and our nurses are the best in the world.
Inform them that this is the
ideal place to have affordable dental care, facelift, body reshaping
and massage.
Our barbershops and beauty
parlors offer the most comprehensive hair and facial services,
including expert extraction of earwax.
Promote ukay-ukay, tiangge,
original Filipino music (OPM) and karaoke bars. Our singers and
musicians are among the best in the universe.
Make sure we have the correct
national flag and national anthem for every participating country to
avoid embarrassments.
There should absolutely be no
power outages, flash floods, traffic snarls and political protests
during the Games.
Provide police officers, traffic
enforcers, public transport drivers, immigration officers, customs
inspectors, baggage handlers and Olympics workers clean, attractive
and smart-looking uniforms.
Declare a school holiday and
flex-time for government and private-sector workers to reduce
commuting, cut down long passenger waiting lines and give the public
time to enjoy the Games on TV.
Finally, police the bidding
process and construction work to avoid scandals, accidents, cost
overruns and other embarrassments.
What to do with the Olympic
Stadium and the Olympic Village after the Games? After the 2004
Games in Athens, these edifices, costing billions, became a white
elephant and a monument to waste in the Greek capital.
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