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When you love someone really and truly, you get to live two lives .
. . yours and your beloved. You are no longer focused only on your
own. The deeper your love, the more involved are you in the life of
the one you love. This causes you, in effect, to live two lives.
Your beloved experiences pain. Whether physical
or emotional, you too will hurt as you stand by your love. The man
who can watch his wife weep and not feel anything is a man whose
love is suspect.
You love your daughter. She gets all excited
about deep sea diving. You too take on an interest in diving, but
more to better connect to her. You have no interest to dive
yourself, but it means so much to her that you feel the need to
share her interest. Because you love her so much, you must somehow
live what is so close to her heart.
My daughter Vanessa is such a woman. She is an
Aquarian and has always loved the water. As a child she was a water
baby and was swimming when she could barely walk. She joined a swim
team and competed successfully. We were there at every competition
cheering her on, even if it meant spending the day in the hot sun,
we did so cheerfully because we love her. It was as if we swam with
her even if we did not step into the water. When she won (which was
often) we, her parents, also won.
I remember one day when she competed in a relay.
She had cramps and instead of pulling out of the race, she still
swam in great pain. I was close to tears as I watched her struggle.
I was living her experience too because I loved her.
Today she is an accomplished diver and I
continue to support her in every possible way I can as she has
become an advocate for the preservation of our corral reefs.
As I said, when you truly love someone, you live
two lives. And the more you love that person, the more every aspect
of her life is your concern. And by always keeping the beloved in
your head as well as in your heart, you live her life by proxy.
“Two hearts . . . two hearts that beat as one”’ goes a line
from a popular song. And the more you love a person, the more the
rhythm of the two hearts beat as one—to the point where you can
almost hear the heartbeats.
This isn’t easy to explain, but if ever you
have loved deeply and intensely, you understand what I am trying to
say. If you have never truly loved, then all the possible
explanations can never convey the message.
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If you have problems about drugs, alcohol and
behavior/attitude call my office at 820-6107 or 825-1771 or email me
at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box 2099 MCPO, Makati
City.
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