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Loving from a distance is one thing, but loving in close quarters is
something else again. Lovers who are dating spend some time together
and then go off to office and home. They have a real break from each
other and do not get to see the details and the responsibilities
that married people do.
Just as marital affairs are a whole lot simpler
than leaving home and family in order to live in with the mistress,
so too is courtship easy and, in many ways, more exciting than
getting down to the nitty-gritty of everyday married life. So it
should come as no surprise if newlyweds experience a number of
painful adjustments as they transition from the single state into
marriage. It should also not come as any surprise that so many
marriages begin to unravel between the fifth and twelfth years. That
is just about enough time to get used to each other. Enough time to
give a false sense of security to the routines that have set in.
Enough time for the partners to tire of doing all those things that
used to be so important in the past.
This is when disappointment can set in. There
may even be a sense that perhaps love is not exciting as it used to
be. That maybe their love isn’t as extraordinary as they once
thought it to be.
This is also the time when a degree of regret
might be felt. And that sense of being trapped in a marriage that
isn’t what it was expected to be is felt more strongly with the
passing of each day. It may also be a time when one partner begins
to look over the fence and thinks that maybe, just maybe, the grass
is greener over there.
Unless the loving couple that can sense that the
marriage is beginning to slip and slide does something to turn
things around, the chances of big trouble rearing its ugly head
continue to grow with the passing of each day.
There is something about being taken for granted
that causes one to reevaluate a relationship. There is the strong
temptation to see love as less than it really is. That is what is so
dangerous about such a situation. Long before love is exhausted, one
senses that it is already gone.
This is why it is so important to move quickly
and fix the situation.
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If you have problems about drugs, alcohol and
behavior/attitude call my office at 8206107 or 8251771 or e-mail me
at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box 2099 MCPO, Makati
City.
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