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When two people fall in love, the last thing they expect is a broken
heart. If that was in the cards, they would shy away from any and
all relationships. But they don’t because those initial feelings
of love trigger strong thoughts about personal healing.
Consciously or unconsciously, we want to love in
order to be loved. And we want to be loved in order to heal our
wounds. Wounds inflicted upon us when we were children. Wounds with
names such as anger, rejection and abandonment. We want to be loved
because we are vulnerable and hurt and we feel the need for someone
to be there for us. Someone who will understand, care and love us,
wounds and all.
Love heals. We know that and that is why we
desire it so fervently and, at times, so desperately. We also
understand, however, that love gone bad can hurt like few other
experiences in life. When love turns on us and betrays all the hopes
and expectations we had of it, the pain can be so great, so intense
that we sometimes hesitate to love again. The nightmare of a love
betrayed can haunt us so completely that it has the power of turning
life upside down.
This is when we tend to retreat into ourselves
and perhaps take on an unrealistic view of love. We might look for a
relationship that will be perfect and conflict-free. Sure we all
agree that there is no such thing as perfect love. Still, we hope
for it, believing that we can be the exception to the rule.
C. S. Lewis wrote the truth about love: “To
love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will
certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of
keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to
an animal.
“Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and
little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the
casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe,
dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it
will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative
to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The
only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all
the dangers and perturbations of Love is Hell.”
So, if you think you can love without getting
hurt sooner or later, think again. 
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If you have problems about drugs, alcohol and
behavior/attitude call my office at 8206107 or 8251771 or e-mail me
at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box 2099 MCPO, Makati
City.
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