|
WE humans are intelligent beings. But we are not just intelligent.
Our perceptions of people, the circumstances and experiences we
undergo go a long way in influencing the intellect, perhaps even to
the point of causing us not to think very clearly.
There is much truth to the words of the author
Mark Twain who wrote, “One learns through the heart, not the eyes
or the intellect.” Yes, emotions cause us to look at people and
events in ways that do battle to the intellect.
I get so upset with you that I don’t believe
you anymore, even when you tell me the truth. (The heart is so upset
that it short-circuits the intellect and causes my thinking to get
twisted and distorted.)
You discipline your child in ways that are
offensive to him. Though you truly love him and sincerely believe
what you are doing to him is for his own good, he “thinks” you
hate him. You don’t, but his feelings and emotions prevent him
from seeing your reality (your love).
I see this all the time in my work as a
counselor. The heart keeps getting in the way of the intellect. It
clouds the mind and causes it to function poorly in the face of
reality.
Here is a woman who is madly in love with her
husband who is no longer in love with her. Even as he runs around
with other women and abuses her verbally and sometimes even
physically, she goes on loving him long after the last drop of his
love for her has been drained from his heart. Everyone is trying to
tell her to get out, to walk away because he doesn’t care for her,
but she won’t listen and keeps repeating her mantra, “but I
still love him.” It is as if she can simply wish him to return her
love and he will. She cannot and he will never do so, but she
stubbornly holds on for years until, one day, he leaves her for
another woman. Even then, she still loves him and is willing to take
him back. This makes no sense at all, but the heart has its ways of
forcing the intellect to its knees and giving way to its longings,
regardless of what is real.
Mark Twain was a very wise man. He was a down to
earth guy who could explain the complicated in simple ways. He saw
how we intelligent beings have a way of pushing the heart to lord it
over the intellect.
What is important for us to understand is that
we rarely refuse the heart when we need to choose between it and the
intellect. And this is the root of most of our problems. When we let
the heart dominate the intellect, we are into very risky behavior
and, chances are, we will pay a heavy price somewhere down the road.
If you have problems about drugs, alcohol and
behavior/attitude call my office at 820-6107 or 825-1771 or e-mail
me at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box 2099 MCPO, Makati
City.
|
