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Dear Mr. Lloyd,
I read your column last Sunday and it was
fascinating. Your words have touched me and made me realize some
important lessons I should have learned earlier in my life. I want
to resign but I’m afraid if that’s going to be fine. My present
work isn’t what I really wanted. I hope you can help me. Thanks a
lot and more power to your column!
Michaela Rodriguez
Quezon City
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Dear Michaela,
Thank you for the compliment. It’s good news
you already know what you don’t want. But here’s better than
that: You should know what you want. Knowing what you don’t want
will not help you go to where you want to be simply because our mind
doesn’t read “not.” So the first key is to know what you want.
Many people who have listened to my seminars
have asked me almost similar question such as yours: How do I know
what I want? Well, the usual answer I give is, “You would know it
when your work has become a joy and no longer a sacrifice for
you.” I can’t really answer the question inasmuch as I’d like
to. Our desire is too personal that only our inner self can figure
it out.
In several cases I’ve known since I started
conducting business seminars, personal development workshops, and
leadership lectures here in the Philippines, I observed that there
are a great number of people who confuse their “what they want to
achieve” from “what they can achieve.” And there’s an
interesting thin line between the two. I’m sure though that
“what you want to achieve” will make you happy and fulfilled.
When we talk about what we can, we are talking
about limitation. We simply don’t talk about the desire of our
heart. We talk about our skills and capacity—activities that we
can do, places that we can explore, people that we can meet, foods
that we can eat, things that we can buy. All of these are subject to
our capacity as “workers.”
On the other hand, “what we want to achieve”
means unlimited potential—without any limit. We talk about our
desire regardless of what we can do as a human being. That desire
can be turned into a reality if proper philosophy and activities are
done. At this point, we thinking about activities and experience
that we want, places that we want to explore, people that we want to
meet, foods that we want to eat, things that we want to
buy—regardless of it’s possibility. All of these are subject to
our personal desire.
In my personal case, it has been two years or so
when I last fell in love. Because I became too stiff and too
inconsiderate about love after I got into a traumatic one, I
wasn’t able to see clearly the thin line between what I wanted and
what I can. And so, the following days, months, years, I was dating
and none of my dates became my girlfriend.
But I realized that I was looking for what I can
have, setting some standards and working very hard to satisfy them.
As a result, what I achieved was what I can. It was until I
redefined my “what will make me happy” that I turned it around.
Beginning this year, I prayed to God that
“this is what I want.” So, in a post-it, I wrote the name of one
person that I thought I’d like to be with regardless of who she
is. I posted it in my DreamBoard together with my “engagement
ring.” I believe that I she’s who I want. I started to
unconsciously work on it, just being fluid on every conversation.
The result is I got who I want, and I love who I
got.
You need to know what you really want and do
away with any of the things that you don’t want because certainly
it can only help you a little. As I wrote in my best-selling book Is
There A Job Waiting For You?, “Believing that something can be
done is half the price of its possibility.” Now, I’d like you to
believe in whatever it is that you want, that your heart desires and
start to work on it. Just like what I did.
And who says you can’t have what you want when
you’re perfectly on it?
Value your dreams,
BIG
Big Lloyd Luna, the best-selling author of Is
There a Job Waiting for You?, is a career philosopher, a website
engineer and a motivational speaker. He is the president and CEO of
The LLOYDLUNA Communications and the founder of Value Your Dreams
Movement. Do e-mail at lloyd@lloydluna.com and visit
www.lloydluna.com. To send a message, type LUNA <your message>
send to 2299.
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