|
YOU will know if a man has led a good life when he dies. More people
will be sad than will be happy. Let’s face it, when people we know
pass away, we are sad about the death of some, indifferent about
others and, even if we refuse to admit it, feel relieved when
certain persons leave us.
A few months ago a barrio friend of mine, Ka
Emilio, died suddenly. I was shaken and deeply saddened when I got
the news. I wept when I visited his remains in his simple house, a
stone’s throw from our Nazareth Formation House in San Jose,
Batangas. Ka Emilio was a good man. He was honest, kind and giving
even if he had little to give. Always cheerful and concerned, he was
near the top of my list of trusted friends. I just knew he would
never knife me in the back regardless of the situation, and he never
did. Here was a simple man, a farmer with rough hands, who is deeply
mourned. Every time I drive past his house, I feel a lump in my
throat and I miss him.
Others have died in the same barrio and I
honestly felt indifferent. Not sad, not happy, just indifferent. And
there are some cruel persons whose deaths I would not mourn one bit.
I hesitate to say I would be happy, but I surely would not be sad or
indifferent. The same is true of all of us except the saints who
live among us.
When known evil ones are killed or die, we feel
relieved even if we don’t say, “good, they got what they
deserved.” But the truth is we silently rejoice that we are rid of
them. When, however, a good man dies, we feel a certain emptiness in
our hearts, a vacuum created by his departure. We mourn him because
we feel diminished by his passing, lonely and distressed knowing
that he is gone from this world forever. We cherish his memory and
hold him close to our hearts. And he lives on in a very special
space in our minds.
When we think of us dying, we sometimes wonder
if we will be missed. We ask ourselves how soon our memory will fade
away and be lost with barely a trace. And should anyone dig up the
past and somehow find records of our stay on this planet, we wonder
what they will say of us.
I did an exercise once with a group of
successful multimillio-naires. I ask them to write their obituary.
They were shocked and at first refused to do so. When they relented
and agreed, they were stunned to learn that every single one of them
was separated. They had accumulated fortunes, but had failed as
family men. It would be interesting to know if more would be sad
than happy after their deaths.
If you have problems about drugs, alcohol and
behavior/attitude call my office at 820-6107 or 825-1771 or e-mail
me at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box 2099 MCPO, Makati
City.
|
