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If you’re reading this, then it must mean that
you’ve gotten over the awkward moments and other possible natural
disasters that often mark a first date and have actually made it to
second date.
If the first date is about
creating a good impression, the second date is about confirming if
the initial chemistry was just brought on by the onslaught of
drinks. You need to sustain the initial attraction and up the ante a
bit to get you to the third date. Timing and a sense of urgency are
of the essence to make sure that by the end of the second date,
there’s a third one in the making, so …
Step 1: Don’t wait too long
for before setting the second date
This is something that men
sometimes do—they make themselves scarce so that they don’t
appear to be too eager. But, women generally have a three-day
waiting period (possibly with an additional two-day window as a
grace period.) If you don’t ask within that time, she’ll assume
that you’re not interested anymore and move on to the next
contender.
The longer is takes you to ask
her out on a date, the longer she will take to give you an answer.
So, she may not pick up the first time or answer your text right
away. (But it doesn’t mean that she wasn’t hoping or waiting for
you to call.)
Step 2: Just ask, straight out
This is not the time to play
cutesy and get all rhetorical by asking something like, “If I
asked you out for dinner on Friday, would you be free?” What’s
with the “if?” Make up your mind. Either you’re asking her out
or you’re not.
Step 3: Plan a date that is
more personalized
Sure, you can go out and have
dinner. Or go out and watch a movie. That is acceptable. More
importantly, it is also expected. You need to stand out among all
the other dates like these that were formed from generic cookie
cutter designs. Go the extra mile and plan out these activities with
a bit more of a personal touch. Like if she mentioned a restaurant
that she has heard of and would like to try out, find that
restaurant and be the one to introduce her to it. It indicates that
you were actually listening during the first date and not just
imagining her naked. (Women like that—that you make an effort to
listen, that is. We know it can be short lived).
Step 4: Keep it natural
Usually, “more” is a distinct
characteristic of the second date—more scrutiny, more observation.
Any weird habits, off the cuff remarks that may have tripped alarm
signals, but were dismissed during the first date are going to be
watched out for, the objective of the Second Date being confirmation
and validation. While it may be tempting to keep yourself in check
and continue to put your best foot forward, don’t. Be natural and
nuke any urges to self-correct so that you can really get to know
each other. You don’t want to discover that you’re dating a
different person by date three.
Step 5: Always prepare
your date for the date
If the date will require a long
drive, formal evening wear, give her enough lead-time/advance
notice. This will allow her to adequately prepare and dress
appropriately for the date. It will also show concern and foresight
on your part.
Don’t gush. Ever.
Don’t trip over yourself as you
profusely say that you’re having a great time and that you’re so
glad that she’s agreed to a second date. Yeah, you’re happy to
have reached this stage, but you can’t look like no one has ever
gone this far with you and appear what the French term as “pathetique.”
Besides, real men simply don’t gush. They don’t pout. And
clapping involves action from their entire arm length, not just
their wrists.
You want to create an experience
that is fun and memorable which has little to do with a date being
fancy or extravagant. It is the mutual and sincere enjoyment of each
other’s company (in whatever form that will take) that will get
you to the Third Date. Not laying it on thick with flattery and
trappings of luxury.
E-mail your most memorable
second dates and other similar complaints to thesinglefiles@gmail.com.
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