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It would not be fair to blame everything that happens in our country
to the government. After all, we all have a responsibility in
everything that we do! Maybe it’s time to blame it on the stars...
Today, Manila Times, the best paper in the
country, also lets you have the most accurate reading of your fate
and future! Learn more about what lies ahead of you according to
your Zodiac sign, from Misfortune teller, MV Princess of the
Satires. It is time to know about how much worse your sunken ship
can get and what you could do to remedy it.
Capricorn
Today, it would be best if you stay away from
rice. It is not because of health concerns, but because of
overpriced, hoarded rice. It’s only GMO or GMA, so either way; you
really don’t have a choice. Use Corn instead, as your sign
dictates. But on the upside, it is good to know that our country is
shifting from agricultural to industrial. We no longer want to raise
crop and livestock. We only want to raise prices of just about
everything else—gas, commodities, and blood pressure.
Aquarius
Your boat seems overturned badly today, with no
hope of anyone coming to save you. Worse, you might even feel
nauseous as if there’s pesticide all around you. If you tend to
feel a little Selfish-o today, open your Lines and pray that
somehow, a politician’s close family or friend suffers from a
tragedy during another one of the lousy shows of the Selfish-o
Lines, for them to actually do something about the damages it is
causing to the lives of many families and to the environment.
Pisces
It is good to add fish to your diet today, even
those caught in the seas of Romblon, as long as you take an antacid
first called Endosulpun, to make sure that you will not suffer from
stomach aches, and you hit the dust faster. It will make you
healthier and enable you to find a partner. For those who are heart
broken—move on; there are many Sul-fish-you in the sea.
Aries
Did you commit a crime recently? Did you
plunder, steal, overprice a transaction, and lobby for something
that will benefit your pockets? If so, don’t you worry; your
allies are protecting you, making sure that you will never be Aries-ted!
Just look at celebrities Hoaxhoax Bolantes, Harlowe Garcia. Or you
might even ERAPt with joy after you are granted a special
residential pardon after a long house Aries-t, with no catch of
course.
Taurus
If you are a Taurist, you know, someone who’s
touring around the country today is your lucky day. You can go all
the way from Baguio to Sulu and you’ve got the famous Jun Untugan
as your tour guide and you will even have well-trained escorts
called the Abu-sayad, who are willing protect you until you reach
your final destination! So enjoy the trip while it lasts!
Gemini
This is a good time for couples to rekindle
their love for each other . . . A good tip is to play a good round
of golf with your partner in crime and feel the best Shen-zhations
once more to rekindle the billion-dollar love you once lost.
If you’re single, you must find someone like
you—scheming, corrupt, and hold a high position in the government.
Cancer
If you don’t stop smoking today you will live
up to your sign. Even with the implementation of the law that
prohibits cigarette ads on any form of media, there are still many
ways of getting cancer. This one’s only for the lungs; we have yet
to eradicate the cancer in our own society.
Leo
The best thing about this sign is that it makes
the best liars. Controversy after controversy yet they still remains
standing. The Lie On various matters such as the elections,
transactions, even when already caught red-taped. And that is one
quality we look for in a leader- his ability to cheat. The lion may
be the king of the jungle, but in this Jungle, the one who “Lies
on,” is King. Or queen.
Virgo
These are the kinds of people who are heard but
not seen, and can use their virginal charms to get away with
anything. The most famous personality born under this sign is
Virgogilio Farciliano.
For more accurate astrological readings, go to apotheosis.multiply.com
or e-mail me at marylaine_viernes @manilatimes.net
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