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Third time’s the charm. Three somes are more fun.
But they also say that disasters come in threes? Whatever they
say—good or bad—the number three is often seen as a pivotal
moment of outcome and decision.
Just like the Third Date. It
tells you a lot of things. Like if you want to transition from
casual to semi-formal dating. Or you’re just wasting your time. Or
if you should take the long and winding road to the Fourth Date and
beyond where things can get sticky and complicated. No wonder many
have backed off after the Second Date and stop while they’re
ahead.
If you’re brave enough (or just
really sure about this one), here are some things to remember before
you jump into the 3rd Date.
Step 1: Take charge
Plan out the 3rd date with great
detail. Note that pre-planning does not mean predictability. It just
means that your conversation shouldn’t be something like this:
Boy: “Do you want to go out
Friday night?”
Girl: “OK, where?”
Boy: “You?”
Unless “You” has become a
destination, it is not an acceptable response to the question,
“Where?” If you decide to do something more spontaneous when
you’re together, fine, but when you’re in the asking stage, plan
something. Don’t just leave it up to her.
Step 2:
Do “couple” things
What activities exactly count as
“couple” things are entirely subjective. It can be anything from
going on out a nature trail (just remember that you need to prep
your date about proper attire and footwear); to an all out romantic
candlelight dinner; a short day trip out of the city, or simply
meeting each other’s friends (another kind of Judgment Day
altogether). It really varies from couple to couple. The idea is to
do something that gives off a sense of “togetherness”. If the
Second Date is about personalization, the Third Date is about
intimacy.
Step 3: Don’t overdo it
You want to create a sense of
closeness and familiarity, not go into overkill. So no, she’s
ready to meet in your parents, your ex-girlfriend whom you’re
still friends with, or your kid(s) from past relationship(s).
She’ll run even before you can utter the words, “fourth
date”—especially if you subject her to the last item(s).
Remember, she’s assessing you, too and these things may only add
unnecessary pressure or cloud her judgment more than liquor will.
Save these dating milestones for your future dates.
Step 4: Prepare yourself.
Be a boy scout.
By the Third Date, you will
probably push the envelope and start to get touchy (if you haven’t
yet, she’ll be expecting you to at least try by the Third Date.
Bet not many girls have told you that), so load up on protection for
the just-in-case moment. You don’t want the opportunity to pass
just because you forgot to be safe or worse, were being naïve. You
know what they say, it’s better to be safe and sure than blue
balled and STD-ridden.
Step 5: Remember
There may or may not be another
date after, no matter how great this third one is. Sometimes things
just look different in the light of day. Or sometimes people simply
don’t turn out the way you imagined them to be. When that happens,
it’s best to fade out and slowly disappear—which is entirely
different from dropping off the face of the earth. She’ll wonder
what happened, but like a bad period, she’ll get over it soon
enough.
If she’s the one who is no
longer interested, she will most likely do the same and become
unavailable to take your calls, answer your texts or go on
dates—anything to put some distance between the two of you. Sure,
you may wonder why, but like a bad hangover, you’ll get over it
and go on the next drinking session soon enough.
(If you have exchanged bodily
fluids, whoever is doing the about face is expected to give a short
and honest explanation and hopefully one that will not start with
“it’s not you, it’s me.”)
But, if the Third Date is
everything you thought it would be and more, send out “the”
signal. Don’t leave it open-ended. Schedule the Fourth Date
already, tell her you want to see her again. Pull out all the stops.
Just don’t let her get away.
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