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I go to the cinemas to be whisked away from turgid truths of
everyday life. Prices soar, struggles abound and crimes
prevail—enough reasons to make my Cynicism toward our country grow
as fat as politicians’ pockets. So, all a writer can do is
highlight top 5 movies and hope it will steer you towards the right
direction. Read and know which one’s the best bulok-buster.
Sex and the ZTE
Plot: This is about empowered individuals taking
charge of their lives. It takes place in the very cosmopolitan Shenzhen,
where they meet over an unplanned social dysfunction: a cup of tee!
Rating: N? Or a B+? Just an N…
Comment: This blockbuster raked in almost $220
million, making it one of the greatest movies in Philippine
hysterectomy! It was almost gay, except in the end, our ladies were
unable to achieve their goal! It also reveals the tight, infallible
bond between three of the characters, portentous and ruthless Glory,
the distorted Effigy, and the star of the show, the conniving Ms.
Abalone! But the story doesn’t end there; watch out for Sex and
the ZTE II, to be released in 2010.
Happy Rotter and the Order of the Palace
Plot: This is about a little wizard girl, who
had never thought she was special, until she arrived in Hag-warts
Palace, and overthrew the sorcerer named Erapt. Soon, she paved the
way for the rise of everything bad, especially the ‘commo
deities.’
Rating: F for all the unjust folly-cies
Comment: We all rot happily as the palace orders
so many things that benefit only a few. Power is like magic; it must
be given to one who is upright and morally responsible, not to just
anyone. But then again, the ones who choose who the power should be
given to are also at fault. Open your eyes and see that there’s no
such thing as magic; we must work our way from the inside out. If
everyone changes for the better, then we might see better
administrations and believable economic gains.
Pa-Titanic II: The Princess of the Scars
Plot: This is a true-to-life story about the
‘Pa-titanic II ship,’ nicknamed, ‘Patay,’ which is boarded
by a murderer named Saul Ficio, who took lives and left nothing but
scars on their loved ones.
Rating: End of the row! ‘Row, row, throw your
vote! Drown them down the sea!’ Now you realize what kind of
people you’ve voted for!
Comment: The biggest box-office blunder is back!
In the beginning, they ‘tried’ to rescue lives, but then they
got cramps and decided to abort the mission. They have helicopters
which can be used for rescue or retrieval operations, but they are
worried as it may tarnish in the saltwater. Now, the only thing that
tarnishes is our people’s faith. What’s on dry land is colder
than what lies underneath the sea.
Chronicles of Glornia: the Lying, the B*tch
and the Rice Probe
Plot: This epic pun-tasy is about Queen Glornia,
who has captured hearts with incessant lies, proving that she is one
lucky b*tch, even according to her own economic adviser, Jolly
False-eda. The climax is about how she tries to overcome the rice
crisis in her land known as Malakarnia.
Rating: L for Liars who don’t go to hell; they
go to Malakarnia.
Comment: This timeless classic of C.S. Buwis
speaks about very timely issues. We can learn so much from how the
queen transforms from one form of evil to another to solve her
land’s grain crisis. And you’ve got to worship the way she rules
and the way she keeps her rice to power!
V for Kudetta
Destabilization plot: Overthrowing the Ayokko
Government
Rating: I’d give it a B for Bigo!
Comment: I’m not really a big fan of this guy
named V, who wears a Homobozo clown mask and tries to oust the
extremely powerful anarchist by trying to blunder millions of
dollars to stage his act. In this movie, you’ll never really know
what the truth is. But the only truth I know is that Atty. Raymond
Fortun is a very good friend and I believe in his integrity not only
as a lawyer but as a person. At the end of the day, the truth will
prevail! (Okay; maybe not in this odd-ministration)
I can’t believe that most of our government
leaders star in the biggest box office hits! No wonder we love
having celebrities in office! May our Cinesism keep growing!
apotheosis.multiply.com/ marylaine_viernes@manilatimes.net
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