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When oil price broke the $100 barrel barrier, a global shockwave was
felt by everyone, from the airline industry to the grass cutters in
our neighborhood cemetery. With demand for fuel growing rapidly
especially in China and India, supplies dwindling and with no
motivation from the slick producers to pump out more, $200 a barrel
doesn’t seem too far away as the Organization of the Petroleum
Exporting Countries forecasts. With the crisis getting worse
everyday, doomsayers are crudely predicting the end of
globalization, the fall of several economies, and social unrest.
Despite these troubling times, which make you want to trade your
manly sports utility vehicle for a sissy scooter, I believe we can
still be optimistic about some things. For example, this could help
decrease global warming. Here are some other possible positive
scenarios if oil prices keep doubling:
We will see the fall of the smoke-belching
jeepney and the rise of the man-powered pedicab. Unlike the
taxicabs, which converted their fuel source to LPG, jeepneys won’t
be able to cope with outrageous diesel prices, thus making them
obsolete. This means no more jeepneys making sudden stops causing
near collisions and no more passengers staring at you while you’re
stuck behind them in traffic. Pedicabs and rickshaws will re-emerge
as the cleaner, more economical, and more aesthetic choice for
commuters. Our cities will once again have fresh air and healthy
drivers with muscle-bounded legs. New industries will emerge in
support of this phenomenon: urine-absorbing spandex, man-horseshoes,
no-bleed whips, and rickshaw wifi.
Companies will start implementing the four-day
workweek to save on electricity and fuel. Some cynics would argue
that longer workdays would make employees less productive. In that
case, corporations can add telecommuting as an option. Thanks to
cheaper and reliable broadband, telecommuters on average are 30
percent to 50 percent more productive than regular employees,
according to a study I made right before I was laid off.
Telecommuting has many benefits such as spending quality time with
family, napping, and checking on Facebook.com without the
restrictions of clothing. Remember, a happy employee is a productive
employee.
Other favorable consequences of continued oil
hikes are: more locally grown organic food, increase in alternative
energy sources such as cow fart and used cooking oil, decrease in
SUVs with annoying fake police sirens and the elimination of bad TV
game shows and their pandering hosts.
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