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Love is a thing of such balance that one needs to exercise great
skill in keeping it on track. The countless failed relationships
that litter our society proves this right. Perhaps the most common
problem that counselors have to deal with is the failing and the
failed relationship.
Everybody wants to love somebody. Everyone wants
to be loved. Men and women are constantly falling in love . . . and
then out of love. Perhaps it is because the early stages of love are
deceptively easy. Shallow loving is so easy that young kids in their
early teens cannot seem to have enough of it. Relationships dominate
their thinking. Young girls have love on their minds constantly and
they are very open about it.
But this desire to love and be loved continues
on through out life, even for those who have forsaken relationships.
There is a continuing desire to be loved even when one attempts to
suppress it. It seems that the reality of our longing for love is in
our makeup.
I believe that the reason why so many love
relationships collapse is because they are so easy to get into. It
doesn’t take much to get into love . . . shallow love. A quick
meeting, a few words, an exchange of glances, and, most of all, a
measure of sexual arousal and suddenly one feels a wave of good
feelings that can easily be seen as love.
People have the mistaken belief that sexual
attraction is love. That feeling good about someone is already love.
That having sex and the exciting arousal it produces means it must
be love.
I don’t mean to say that none of these
experiences are without at least traces of love, but true and
meaningful love cannot be had so easily. And that is why love can be
so deceptive. Shallow love is easy to come by, but when two people
think that their “love” is deep and true when it isn’t, all
kinds of mistakes happen.
There is miscalculation. “He loves me so much,
I can give myself to him because I know he won’t leave me,” but
he does.”
“I love him so much, there is no way that
eventually, he won’t be mine,” but now he suddenly vanishes
without even saying goodbye.
If you are serious about loving, you must enter
into love convinced that it is never as easy as Hollywood makes it
out to be. You are going to have to work hard, give a lot and hope
that it all works out for the best. Even then, however, there is no
guarantee that your expectations will be met. 
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If you have problems about drugs, alcohol and
behavior/attitude call my office at 8206107 or 8251771 or e-mail me
at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box 2099 MCPO, Makati
City.
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