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The countless studies and statistics about the failure rate of
teenage marriages do not lie. The reality is crystal clear and
cannot be denied: teenage relationships and marriages fail more
after than those in every other age bracket. And the reason is just
as obvious: lack of maturity.
Love, if it is to have any chance of succeeding
is serious business. And anyone hoping to succeed in love had better
take it seriously. Let’s face it. Not everyone who gets into a
relationship is looking for love. There are those whose primary
objective is sex, or perhaps money, status or power. In past
history, relationships were more pragmatic rather than romantic.
Though that still happens nowadays, we tend to condemn those who
marry for any reason aside from love. This is why even those who are
not interested in love will pretend that they are.
A major problem for those who don’t know much
about true love is that they get trapped in what they think is love,
but isn’t. They naïve girl who is easily talked into bed; the
unknowing guy who is fooled by the woman who only wants his money or
his status; so many reasons for pretending to be serious about
loving.
For those who are sincere about loving, however,
their work is truly cut out for them. They need to prepare
themselves for long term loving because real love only wants more
and more involvement and commitment and is never satisfied with the
status quo. Dynamic love always urges the lovers to push forward to
higher levels of loving. Love that remains stagnant is dying love.
If love does not intensify, it weakens. It never stands still. It
either moves forward or backward.
To get into such a commitment calls for
maturity, real maturity, not just a bit of it. It requires intimate
knowledge of oneself and of the beloved. It calls for patience and
the ability to wait for as long as it takes to get there without
giving up or looking elsewhere. It means having learned to care
deeply for others, for true love does not exclude loving others and
being sensitive to them. It means learning how to postpone
gratification, for building a strong loving relationship takes much
time, effort and no small measure of self-sacrifice. It means
keeping one’s expectations realistic, even as one desires to love
as deeply as is humanly possible.
That is part of what it is like to love
meaningfully. No easy task.
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If you have problems about drugs, alcohol and
behavior/attitude call my office at 8206107 or 8251771 or e-mail me
at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box 2099 MCPO, Makati
City.
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