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Fewer and fewer people nowadays choose to take marriage vows, most
preferring to live together as partners. Many feel that they are not
ready to make a life long commitment to be husband and wife and
married parents to their children. They feel happier to leave the
door open so that either one can walkout at any time. That’s easy
for them but it leaves the children with the insecurity and
uncertainty of having no mom or perhaps a dad when they wake up in
the morning.
In the western world, family relationships have
been under intense pressure for decades from materialism, lost
values, unreasonable demands for continuous emotional and sexual
gratification. It led to an estimated divorce rate of one in every
three marriages. So many couples are incapable of fidelity and
pre-nuptial contracts have become common and the abandonment of
marriage itself.
In the book of Sirach we are warned about the
dangers of false friendship, fair weather friends and told of the
true friend that money can’t buy. The faithful loyal friend is the
person who is at your side always when the going gets tough and when
challenges lie ahead. The true friend who is there to support, help,
serve, affirm and protect you from harm. That’s’ what a loving
marriage is all about . . . It’s making a public commitment to the
highest value and ideal –unselfish, self-giving to another for
life. It is a commitment made in public before the whole community.
They vow that they will be faithful for life to their husband or
wife. They pledge to be honest, understanding, caring, kind, gentle,
sensitive and loving without expecting a reward, setting conditions,
seeking one’s own pleasure and comfort. True love is unselfish.
Above all, married love gives security, affirmation, love, care and
affection to the children. It calls for courage, self-sacrifice and
personal spiritual strength.
These values that imbrue true love are vital,
necessary for happy and intelligent children. They are the firm
foundation for emotionally, psychological and physically healthy
children. Affirmation, admiration and encouragement are so necessary
for the children to be secure, strong in mind and heart, to be whole
and integrated, mature and wise. They will have it in abundance if
the parents pass it on to them. The love between self-sacrificing
parents brings family harmony. This is the goal and purpose of a
loving, committed, married relationship.
This steadfast spiritual love that is seen in
true married commitment and dedication is greatly helped by the
mutual physical attraction we call “falling in love.” This is a
powerful natural force of gene compatibility, mutual recognition of
goodness in the other. It is the chemistry of the emotional and
romantic magnetism that creates that wonderful experience of
crossing barriers and achieving intimacy. It is this and their
spiritual beliefs that bind a couple to each other. It is not a
fleeting experience either and with care and dedication can last a
lifetime as many married couples have experienced.
Romantic love matures and is sustained by
spiritual love and friendship. It can be nurtured and strengthened
and will empower the couple to meet and overcome the challenges of
establishing a family, caring for the children, having a secure
working life and a happy respectful family.
preda@info.com.ph
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