|
It is the head that must discipline the feelings of love. Too many
people think that love is right because it is love. Not true. More
hurt, physical, emotional and all sorts of unfairness have been done
in the name of love—all this in the name of love.
Feelings play such a huge part in loving and
since the heart doesn’t think, it is inevitable that sooner or
later they will cause lovers and those who love them all sorts of
difficulties. Because of these, out of control feelings, ethics,
principles, promises and even good manners are compromised. This is
why love, when allowed to run wild can do so much damage.
Families can be ripped apart in the name of
love. Parents and their children become alienated because of a love
relationship. Friends even turn against each other.
It is only when the fires of raging love abate
somewhat and the lovers have the chance to do some quiet thinking
that the head succeeds in regaining a measure of balance. It is only
then that the lovers look back and are able to survey the
“collateral damage” that their love has caused. It is only then
that they were able to assess the level of pain their love has
inflicted upon those who loved them deeply long before they met
their beloved. And perhaps, it is only then that they feel a measure
of sadness over the hurt that they have caused the truly innocent.
And years later perhaps, they would understand
and accept that love can devastate as well as build people. They
realize that it can cause great pain as well as joy. That, even as
it raises the lovers up, it can knock others down. They learn that
love can become awfully complicated and its consequences long
lasting and far-reaching. They also realize that falling in love is
very different from staying in love over the years. That sooner or
later, the smoke of passion and explosive feelings will clear and
some harsh realities will surely surface.
Because of the powerful feelings that love
generates, lovers want things to go their way. They want others to
bless their relationship come what may, and, when this does not
happen, they turn against or shut out those who disagree. Lovers can
be very self-centered in their desire to make their love work. We
see this all the time. Love can be seen as beautiful by the lovers,
but a curse by those who disapprove their relationship. Love can
bring people together, but it can also cause great disruption in
families and among friends.
“Love is a many splendored things,” says the
line in the old song, but it can also be very complicated, hurting
and devastating.
___
If you have problems about drugs, alcohol and
behavior/attitude call my office at 8206107 or 8251771 or e-mail me
at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box 2099 MCPO, Makati
City.
|
