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If there is one thing we detest in a man, it is his lack of
appreciation for the goodness and kindness extended to him. The
ungrateful son who turns his back on his loving parents. The man who
was picked up from the dust by a generous benefactor and who
suddenly turns against the one person who reached out to him in his
time of need. The ungrateful spouse who mistreats his understanding
loved one.
All these people are looked upon with disdain
because they failed to recognize the goodness extended to them.
“Gratitude does not come naturally,” writes
Harold Bussell. “Gratitude is not easy because when we express
gratitude, we acknowledge our need for others’ expression of love
and care. We become vulnerable. In showing gratitude we admit our
need for another person’s relationship, insight, or help. By
saying thank you, we subtly admit our dependence on another person.
This is the opposite of serving self.”
Gratitude calls for a measure of humility. It is
an admission that one has been helped in some way and that one owes
the benefactor. The proud and the arrogant do not like to make this
admission.
The ungrateful ones often do not want to even
mention those benefactors, partners and persons who help them on
their road to success. They would rather pretend that they did all
by themselves when they know that is not the truth.
Affirmation is easy. All it takes are a few
words of truth to someone. But easy as it might be, it does not come
quickly to the proud and arrogant.
All of us have at least a measure of goodness in
us. The truth is that we do see this in others. It is up to us to
show gratitude for the help, the encouragement, the teachings and
the love and concern we have received from people.
But gratitude does not come easily. We are not
born grateful. It must be taught in childhood. Ungrateful children
grow up to be ungrateful adults. Parents who allow their children to
abuse those who help them are teaching their kids ingratitude.
Parents who fail to instill in their young ones the sense of
gratitude are doing them a great disservice.
Grateful people are prized and appreciated. We
all like to be recognized for the good we do, even if recognition is
not the primary motive for helping. When a man shows gratitude and
appreciation for what we have done for him, we feel like doing more.
If on the other hand, he is ungrateful, we tend to shy away and
resent him.
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If you have problems about drugs, alcohol and
behavior/attitude call my office at 8206107 or 8251771 or e-mail me
at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box 2099 MCPO, Makati
City.
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