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Last week, I received the toughest writing challenge I ever
encountered in my 10-year professional writing career: what to write
for a tombstone message.
This may sound funny but it’s actually not. My
girlfriend’s mother died last week and I helped with the
preparations during the wake, at the funeral and cleaning up after
everything. Since I am the writer of the family, my girlfriend asked
me to formulate the words needed for two things: first, for the
message that accompanied the names of the family members written on
strips of ribbon tape pinned on the coffin’s viewing window cover;
second, the words on the actual tombstone. The first was actually
easier (she approved “with all our love…”) but I had to sweat
out the second.
I dare every writer: if you are really worth
your Palanca, write something like this. This is because writing
something for this purpose sounds like a higher calling than
“merely” churning out poems or short stories. Imagine, these are
words that should honor the memory of the dead, and words that will
remind people of the departed one’s legacy. Thus, the first
challenge my girlfriend said was to shun traditional words and
phrases such as “in loving memory,” “beloved,” “for all
eternity” or “eternal” (and all its infinite variations) and
all that. I even did some research and went tombstone-hopping at the
memorial park to look at what’s already out there. Not
surprisingly, there are many verse quotations from the Bible, but my
girlfriend wanted something unique, and something poetic.
Needless to say, this writer was challenged.
Very challenged. This is actually harder than writing a metric poem
or a haiku, with the precise measurements, the rhythmic syllable
count and all that. It’s definitely harder to write than a sudden
fiction story where you contain a whole narrative in 500 words or
less. Imagine summing up what the family was feeling and combining
it with the departed one’s best quality to remember, then
inscribing that in a tombstone, well, for life. Dare to sum those
thoughts in two lines or less. It’s tough, I tell you.
But after many revisions, my girlfriend finally
approved of the final draft. However, pardon me for not sharing it
as I want it to remain private in their honor. Still, I was glad
that in my own small way, I was able to contribute something vastly
important to their family in that time of need. I hope I did justice
to their mother’s memory with the words I formulated. By the
satisfied nod I got from my girlfriend, I’d say I pulled this
challenge off.
My condolences again to the family of the late
Erlinda Sevilla Sumampong. She was indeed the beacon of your fold,
and will be sorely missed.
Comments? Suggestions? E-mail libay.scribevibe@gmail.com.
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