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The family is a diamond that has been molded through
time, becoming strong and solid in the midst of the harshest
adversities. It is also a boat that sails into the endless ocean,
remaining intact after every storm. Having a family is like having a
treasure that you will never lose.
But this wasn’t always the
portrait of a family to me. In fact, for the longest time, I had
thought that being with my family is a curse. In other countries, 18
year olds start moving out but I, on the other hand, still haven’t
been able to live happily on my own. The reason is not because I do
not have the means to support myself, but because I cannot afford
one thing: and that is to turn away from my family.
I have two younger siblings, who
have yet to know how cruel the world out there is, and parents who
seem to be incapable of bringing bread to the table. So being the
eldest, I had no choice but to step up and be leader of the team.
Sometimes, I would wonder whether
my father’s amputation is just a sort of scapegoat for his
incapacity to provide for us. My mother, on the other hand, took a
second course a few years ago, in the hopes of finding an
opportunity outside this country, but her longstanding efforts have
yet to bear fruit. She’s still adrift in the middle of the sea
without any signs of dry land.
It is already strenuous for one
person to buoy himself up, but it gets unimaginable when boulders
are strapped to his ankles. I am no stranger to that impediment. I
may be earning more than other people around me yet the paychecks
seem to breeze through my fingers as it seems like I only work to
pay for bills, allowances and food. I would try to blame my
situation on the government, culture or anything else that just
doesn’t make any sense.
So I figured out that the only
thing I could do is to make use of what I have in my hand. As in
everything else in life, the way you perceive things is the way
things will work out for you. I could complain everyday and whine at
my problems; or, I could shut my mouth, compartmentalize my issues
and move forward. After all, moving forward is all we could do. No
one could go back and erase the mistakes committed in the past. For
these experiences, though not too much to our liking, is the very
essence of history. And only in accepting the things we had done
will we come to understand that there is no such thing as trouble or
failure. There are only experiences.
The challenge is to be able to
break out from your current dramas and for your own sake, turn it
into a reality show, only without the pathetic script or rolling
cameras. Life is free and spontaneous. We will never know that
outcome of one decision until we take the chance. Also, it would not
hurt if we learn to influence others to become as determined as we
are. It took me a long time, but I have finally come to accept that
a seed does not grow into a beautiful flower overnight. It takes
months of tending for it to become what it is. We can either be a
masterpiece that took a while to come into being, or we can be just
another wandering weed that can be taken out anytime.
Despite the yoke on my back, I am
able to stand tall. And that is something I have achieved through
the help of my family. They keep me grounded and remind me that
there’s so much to be thankful for and to look forward to. I
realized that many of the things I have now and often take for
granted were the things that only used to exist in my dreams.
Remember that only in counting
and sharing our blessings can these blessings bear fruit. And when
you share the little you have with your family, you just have to
wait for it to come back a hundredfold. My family is so important;
this column, as my life, would never be real without them.
apotheosis.multiply.com; marylaine_viernes@manilatimes.net.
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